As a child growing up in a very large family, sharing was a necessary and normal part of life for the Williams siblings. With a brother who is 2 years older and two brothers 2 and 3 years younger than me, we shared toys, bedrooms, beds, closets, dressers, and even clothing when necessary. That’s not to mention my older brothers, two younger sisters, and my parents, with whom I shared a bathroom.
I used to admire – and maybe even was a little jealous of my peers growing up as “only” children. Back then, I wondered what it would be like for me to have a bedroom to myself! On the other hand, I heard the unflattering comments of kids and parents about the “spoiled brats” who had everything yet didn’t like to share with other children.
Now, I know that not all single children are selfish and grow up to become obnoxious, self-centered adults. Undoubtedly, some do. And I am not suggesting that every person who spent their youth in poverty and/or crowded conditions at home has become a kind, sharing, and compassionate adult. That’s not true either. It is a worthy goal of strong fathers to bring up generous children. It starts with us.
Some Strategies for Raising Generous Children
- Lead by Example: Children learn by observing. Model generosity in your own life by volunteering, donating to charity, helping others in need, and expressing gratitude for what you have.
- Foster Empathy: Encourage your children to understand and share the feelings of others. Talk about how their actions affect others and how it feels to be in someone else’s shoes.
- Incorporate Giving into Daily Life:
- Share with others: Encourage sharing toys, snacks, and helping hands with siblings and friends.
- Acts of kindness: Perform random acts of kindness like helping a neighbor, leaving a nice note, or donating old clothes.
- Volunteer together: Find age-appropriate volunteer opportunities as a family.
- Teach Gratitude: Practice gratitude regularly. Have family discussions about things you’re thankful for, keep a gratitude journal, or express appreciation to others.
- Focus on Experiences Over Material Possessions: Emphasize the importance of experiences like travel, nature, and community involvement over material possessions.
- Guide, Don’t Force: Avoid pressuring children to give or volunteer. Instead, guide them towards these actions and help them understand the benefits of generosity.
Start When They Are Young
Tailor your approach to your child’s age and development. With very young children, be intentional about positive reinforcement. It is said that you get more of what you pay attention to. Therefore, praise and acknowledge the generous behavior of your child, even for the little things. This will encourage its repetition because children love praise from their dads!
Starting when they are small, you can consistently model and teach these values, and you can cultivate a sense of generosity in your children that will benefit them and the world around them.
Encouraging Generosity with Teens
Here are three things dads can do with their teens to encourage generosity:
- Volunteer Together:
- Find a cause: Choose a local charity or organization that aligns with your teen’s interests (animal shelters, food banks, environmental groups).
- Make it a regular activity: Schedule regular volunteer times, even if it’s just a few hours a month.
- Discuss the impact: Talk to your teen about the importance of their contributions and how they are making a difference.
- Family Giving Projects:
- Choose a cause: Select a family to support (a neighbor in need, a distant relative).
- Involve the teen: Let them brainstorm ideas for helping, such as preparing meals, running errands, or organizing a small fundraiser.
- Celebrate the impact: Acknowledge and appreciate your teen’s efforts and the positive change they helped create.
- Have Open Conversations:
- Discuss current events: Talk about local and global issues and how they impact others.
- Explore different perspectives: Encourage your teen to consider the viewpoints of people less fortunate than themselves.
- Emphasize gratitude: Regularly express appreciation for the blessings in your own lives and discuss ways to share those blessings with others.
By actively involving their teens in acts of generosity, dads can help them develop a compassionate and giving spirit.
Church Offerings and The Tithe
Offerings
If you are a church member, apply these teaching practices there, starting with leading by example in giving. Some parents (as mine did) make sure their children have money to put in the offering basket to get them accustomed to giving to the church, even if it is only a few small coins or a dollar bill.
Explain to your children that offerings and tithes fund the church’s services, programs, facilities, community work, and missions.
If you are a tither, teach your child to follow your example.
What is the Tithe?
In Christian churches, the tithe traditionally refers to the practice of returning 10% of one’s gross income to God through the church.
- Biblical Origins: The concept of tithing has roots in the Old Testament of the Bible, where it was a commandment for the Israelites to give a tenth of their produce and livestock to support the Levites (the priestly tribe) and the temple. Not doing so was considered equivalent to robbing God (Mal. 3:8-10).
- Christian Practice: While not explicitly mandated in the New Testament, many Christians continue the practice of tithing as an act of faith, obedience to God, and support for their local church.
- Views and Practices Vary:
- Some Christians view tithing as a biblical obligation.
- Others see it as a voluntary act of generosity.
- The specific amount given can vary depending on individual circumstances and beliefs.
To tithe is a personal decision, and churches generally do not pressure members to give a specific amount.
Teach your children to cheerfully prioritize the tithe by setting aside one dime from every dollar of their allowance or earnings as a dedication to God. It will likely become a lifelong practice.
Instructions from the Holy Scriptures
7 So let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver. – 2 Corinthians 9:7
My wife and I have been joyfully giving and tithing to the church for forty years. God has faithfully seen us through all the ups and downs of the national economy and our personal financial challenges. We recommend it to everyone and that you teach your children to do so.
For more blog posts on fatherhood go to https://urbanlight.org/blog-directory/
About the Author
Eli Williams is a father, grandfather, and mentor of several men. He and his wife Judy have served in community outreach ministry since the late 1980s and founded Urban Light Ministries in 1995. Eli has been a professional fatherhood practitioner since 2006 and is an ordained Christian minister helping to pastor New Hope Church in Springfield, Ohio. Reverend Williams authored Father Love—The Powerful Resource Every Child Needs in 2016 and led ULM in the creation of Fathering Strong.
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