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The role of a father has never been more critical, nor, perhaps, more confusing. In a culture saturated with distractions and conflicting voices, the spiritual leadership of men in the home is often the last domino to fall. Recent research reveals the shocking truth that fatherhood – even in the Church – is in crisis.
The Manhood Journey’s comprehensive State of Biblical Fatherhood Report[i], based on assessments from thousands of Christian dads, reveals a profound gap between the faith we profess and the faith we practice in our own homes. The data is clear: a vast majority of fathers have outsourced their primary responsibility.
The report highlights that 78 percent of Christian fathers do not regularly read or discuss Scripture with their children, and 83 percent do not pray with their families outside of mealtimes or bedtimes. Even more starkly, only 26 percent report spending intentional time helping their children grow in Bible knowledge and spiritual maturity.
These aren’t numbers about simple disengagement; they point to a discipleship crisis at the very heart of the Christian family. If the next generation is to know and follow Christ, the responsibility lies squarely with the man in the home. He must become the leader his family needs. We, fathers can learn a lot about servant leadership from the life and work of shepherds.
Lessons from the Lowly Shepherd
When my wife and I visited the Holy Land, a simple sight brought a lifetime of Scripture into sharp focus: shepherds, distant figures in the rolling hills, faithfully guiding their flocks. It was a tangible image that instantly connected me to King David, who bravely defended his sheep, and to the shepherds outside Bethlehem, who were the first to hear the news of the Messiah’s arrival.
The shepherd is one of the most enduring and beloved metaphors in the Bible—it is the language of God Himself. Scripture is replete with allusions to the Heavenly Father as the Great Shepherd of His ancient people and Jesus Christ as the ultimate Good Shepherd. If spiritual leaders of the church are called pastors (meaning “shepherds”), how much more must the father, as the spiritual head of his home, embody this role?
Shepherding, at its core, sets forth the biblical model for Christian fatherhood: gentle, faithful, courageous, and sacrificial servant leadership.
Why Shepherds are Necessary
Sheep possess virtually no natural defenses or survival instincts, meaning their very existence hinges on the competence, diligence, and presence of their caregiver.
The profoundly dependent and vulnerable nature of sheep fundamentally illustrates the vital importance of a good shepherd by creating a relationship of absolute necessity.
Here is how their nature underscores the shepherd’s importance:
The Sheep’s Vulnerabilities (The “Why”)
Sheep are uniquely ill-equipped to survive on their own, highlighting the indispensable role of the shepherd in four key areas:
Helplessness Against Predators
Sheep are defenseless. They have no powerful claws, sharp teeth, or speed to outrun major predators like wolves, bears, or lions. When threatened, their instinct is often to scatter or freeze, making them easy targets.
Shepherd’s Role: The shepherd is the sole protector and warrior. He must be courageous, equipped with a rod and staff (weapons), and willing to risk his life to fend off attacks, embodying the Good Shepherd who lays down his life (John 10:11).
Inability to Find Sustenance
Sheep lack the instinct and intelligence to consistently find and choose safe food and water. They will graze until they are malnourished on poor grass or drink from running water, which terrifies them, often leading to illness or death.
Shepherd’s Role: The shepherd is the provider and guide. He must know the terrain to lead them to “green pastures” and “still waters” (Psalm 23:2). This highlights the shepherd’s wisdom and knowledge as essential for the flock’s health and sustenance.
Lack of Self-Correction (Prone to Straying)
Sheep are notorious for wandering off the path, not out of malice or rebellion, but simply due to distraction. Once lost, a sheep often panics and cannot find its way back. Furthermore, if they fall on their backs (a condition known as “being cast”), they cannot right themselves and will die if not rescued.
Shepherd’s Role: The shepherd is the attentive restorer. He must be vigilant in his counting and searching, using the staff to hook and guide straying animals gently. This demonstrates the necessity of personal, proactive intervention to save the helpless, emphasizing that guidance is an act of rescue.
Overwhelming Fear and Panic
Sheep are naturally fearful and require a constant sense of security to thrive. They won’t even lie down to rest unless they feel completely safe.
Shepherd’s Role: The shepherd is the source of security and comfort. His voice calms them, and his physical presence eliminates their anxiety. The promise, “I will fear no evil, for you are with me” (Psalm 23:4), encapsulates the idea that the shepherd’s presence alone is the key to the sheep’s peace.
In summary, the sheep’s total vulnerability means the shepherd is not merely a caretaker but the source of their life, safety, and direction. The fragility of the flock makes the shepherd’s diligence and character the most critical factor in their survival.
A Day in the Life of a Middle Eastern Shepherd
The life of the biblical shepherd was not one of leisure, far from it. It was marked by constant vigilance, long hours, and personal risk. It was an endless watch. The shepherd was not a driver who walked behind the flock, for sheep were not pushed like cattle. The shepherd was a leader who walked before them, always in sight. Sheep are too short to see the pasture ahead, so they rely on the shepherd to guide them. That’s literal servant leadership.
Sunrise: The Call to Lead
The shepherd’s day begins before the sun rises, following the rhythm of nature, not a clock.
The Shepherd’s Voice: The shepherd leads the sheep out of the safety of the fold (a stone enclosure or cave). He doesn’t need to push or drive them; he simply calls out with a unique, familiar sound, and his sheep follow him (John 10:3–4). They know his voice and trust his direction.
The Path Chosen: The shepherd’s first task is to select the day’s route, carefully choosing paths that offer both safety and sustenance. This requires deep knowledge of the land, weather, and potential dangers. He walks ahead, determining every step the flock will take.
Midday: Provision and Nurture
The daylight hours are spent actively fulfilling the duties of provision and care.
Seeking Green Pastures: The shepherd guides the flock to grazing lands, ensuring the grass is of good quality to keep the sheep healthy. He makes them lie down in the pastures, often because they will not rest unless they are completely secure.
Leading to Still Waters: Sheep are terrified of fast-moving, running water. The shepherd must lead them to quiet, slow-moving pools or draw water for them from a well to ensure they drink and are refreshed. This requires patience and gentleness.
Attending the Vulnerable: The shepherd constantly checks the flock for injury or disease. He pays special attention to the lambs and nursing mothers, often carrying the weakest lambs close to his chest or in his arms to protect them from the arduous journey (Isaiah 40:11).
Evening: The Accountability
As the heat subsides and evening approaches, the risk increases, demanding focused attention for the journey home.
The Journey Back: The shepherd guides the tired flock back to the temporary or permanent sheepfold. This path is often dangerous as predators begin to stir.
Counting Under the Rod: At the entrance of the fold, the shepherd stands, and as each sheep passes through the narrow opening, he counts them one by one, often using his rod to gently touch and inspect each animal (Leviticus 27:32). This is the moment of accountability—ensuring that none are missing or injured.
Treating Wounds: Any sheep that is wounded, sick, or exhausted is tended to immediately upon entering the safety of the fold.
Night: Sacrificial Watch
The night brings the most significant risk and demands the shepherd’s ultimate commitment.
The Gatekeeper: In a simple sheepfold (often a stone circle or cave), there is no literal wooden gate. The shepherd often lies down across the narrow entrance, becoming the living gate himself (a literal act of self-sacrifice, echoing John 10:7, 9).
Protection at Personal Risk: Throughout the dark hours, the shepherd stays awake, on guard against predators (wolves, bears, lions) and human thieves. It is a lonely, cold, and dangerous shift that requires courage, vigilance, and a readiness to fight—just as young David fought a lion and a bear for his flock (1 Samuel 17:34-37).
Long-Term Dedication: The shepherd’s job is often a migratory one, leading him away from home for weeks or months. It is an occupation of solitude and ceaseless dedication to the welfare of the flock, as their dependency is absolute.
The Human Father’s Parallel:
The life of the shepherd is a profound picture of selfless, 24/7 care. The father, like a shepherd, is constantly on call, not driving his family, but lovingly leading, providing for, and protecting them, knowing that their survival and flourishing depend on his intimate knowledge, courage, and faithful vigilance.
In the forthcoming installments of The Fathering Strong Blog, we will survey what the Bible reveals about shepherds, the standard set for human fathers by Almighty God as the Divine Shepherd, and the example of congregational shepherds.
Instructions from the Holy Scriptures
11 “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. – John10:11 NIV
Jesus declare Himself the Good Shepherd. He is the protector, provider, nurturer, and guide of His flock, willing to give His all for them. From Him, fathers learn what it means to render gentle, faithful, courageous, and sacrificial servant leadership as family shepherds.
For more on the topic of fatherhood, read my newly revised and updated Father Love – The Powerful Resource Every Child Needs. I have added a chapter (26) on what churches can do to help fathers strengthen their spiritual leadership in their homes, congregations and communities. The hardbound version was published on October 13, 2025 and is available on Amazon and wherever books are sold. Obtain the Kindle version here: https://a.co/d/0HJS8QY
The ‘game’ your teen is playing may not be a game at all! He may be gambling. This is a startling reality for today’s parents. Did you know that problem gambling rates are higher among teens than adults? To inform and equip you as a loving father, in this article I will share with you my findings on this trend and offer suggestions for addressing it so you can be the protector you seek to be.
The New Trends in Gambling: It’s Not Your Grandfather’s Poker Game
Gambling is no longer confined to casinos; it’s on your children’s phones, on their consoles, and is advertised everywhere. You cannot watch sports on television without being inundated with gambling ads. And there are subtle forms of gambling that may fly under parents’ radar. These are the latest horrifying developments:
Trend
Key Statistic
Online Sports Betting & Media Exposure
Major sports events are saturated with betting ads, linking sports and gambling as a “normal connection.” Teens can easily create accounts online, often by lying about their age.
“Loot Boxes” in Video Games
31% of 11 to 16 year olds have opened loot boxes, which are chance-based, and spending on them is linked to problem gambling severity.
“Skins” Gambling
Betting with in-game items (‘skins’) on unregulated websites. 3% of 11 to 16 year olds claim to have done this.
“Traditional” Activities Still Exist
Private bets with friends and lottery scratchcards (often bought by parents) are still the most common forms of gambling for young people.
Prevalence
60 to 80% of high school students have gambled in the past year. Problem gambling rates for youth (4 to 8%) are significantly higher than for adults (~1%).
The Dangers: Why This Matters More Than Money
The teenage brain is still developing and there are severe risks associated with gambling.
The Underdeveloped Brain: The decision-making part of the brain is not fully developed until the mid-20s, making teens more impulsive and less able to weigh risks.
Addiction and Mental Health: Problem gambling is linked to:
Depression and anxiety
Substance use problems (Teens who gamble are more likely to use drugs/alcohol).
Suicide: Gambling addiction has one of the highest suicide rates among all addictions.
Cascading Consequences: Financial loss, lying, stealing, poor school performance, and strained family relationships.
Early Onset: Children introduced to “harmless betting” by age 12 are four times more likely to engage in problem gambling later.
Your Role, Dad: A Call to Action for Fathers
Research highlights the specific importance of the father’s influence and awareness.
Your Unique Influence
Key Findings for Fathers
Role Modeling
Parental gambling is a strong predictor of adolescent gambling participation and problems. If you gamble, there is a greater chance your child will also gamble.
Co-Gambling
Fathers report a higher rate of co-gambling with their adolescents than mothers.
Awareness & Concern
Fathers report higher rates of awareness of adolescent gambling and simulated gambling than mothers, but also report being more concerned about their child’s gambling.
If you suspect it, or see it, take action!
Protective Strategies for Fathers (and Mothers)
Here are some practical, actionable steps for parents.
1. Talk and Educate
Don’t wait: Start conversations about gambling risks early. Parents should begin talking to their children about the dangers of gambling as early as six years old and continue the conversation as they grow.
Explain the Odds: Explain that gambling is a business set up to take money, and “the house always wins.” Use relatable comparisons for odds for example:
“Your chance of winning the lottery jackpot is roughly 1 in 15 million (depending on the specific game). To put that number in perspective, you are 50 times more likely to be struck by lightning in your lifetime, which is about a 1 in 300,000 chance.”
Talk About Gaming: Discuss in-game purchases like loot boxes and “skins,” and help them understand how these mechanics are like gambling. Many video games and apps now include gambling-like features (like loot boxes and social casino games) that expose children to the thrill of betting, normalizing gambling behavior.
Make it a Discussion: Children whose parents talk to them about the risks of gambling are less likely to develop a problem. Ask your child what they think. The goal is open dialogue and trust. Make the conversation a regular, ongoing discussion rather than a one-time lecture.
2. Set Boundaries and Model Behavior
Model Healthy Behavior: Don’t gamble! If you do, be conscious of your own gambling (e.g., lottery tickets, sports bets) and keep it moderate. Don’t use monetary rewards for family wagers.
Establish Tech Rules: Set clear limits for screen time. Consider cybersecurity steps like removing devices from bedrooms and limiting access to online gambling sites.
Financial Control: Limit your youth’s access to your credit cards for in-game or online purchases. Require an explanation before using your credit.
3. Recognize the Warning Signs
Things to look for that go beyond typical teen behavior.
A sudden, intense interest in sports scores or stats.
Unexplained mood swings, anxiety, or depression.
Missing money or asking to borrow money frequently.
Decline in grades, missing classes, or less interest in usual hobbies.
Increased time online, especially being secretive about it.
Conclusion & Resources
Prevention starts at home with open communication and modeling. Remember that, according to the research, fathers’ influence carries more weight. Take the lead in preventative measures. Have a conversation with your youth tonight about gambling.
Need help? The most widely recognized and recommended national resource for problem gambling in the United States is the National Problem Gambling Helpline. This confidential helpline is operated by the National Council on Problem Gambling and serves as a one-stop hub to connect individuals to local resources in all 50 states and U.S. territories.
Resource Name
Phone Number
Website
National Problem Gambling Helpline
Call: 1-800-522-4700
ncpgambling.org
Text: 800GAM
Chat: Chat Online (via the website)
Instructions from the Holy Scriptures
Wealth from gambling quickly disappears; wealth from hard work grows. – Proverbs 13:11 The Living Bible
Gambling undercuts the work ethic which has been part of God’s design for mankind since the beginning. The Bible instructs us to supply our own needs and those of our families by engaging in productive labor (Proverbs 31, 2 Thessalonians 3:10, 1 Timothy 5:8).
Christians are exhorted to work to have resources to share with others (Ephesians 4:28). By promising something for nothing, gambling works against this ethos. For more wisdom from God on this, read Genesis 2:15; Exodus 20:9; Proverbs 12:11, 13:4, 20:4, 21:25, 28:19.
The wise father will model for his children hard work and will avoid setting a bad example by gambling away his money. As stated earlier, if you gamble, there is a greater chance your child will also gamble.
For more on the topic of fatherhood, read my newly revised and updated Father Love – The Powerful Resource Every Child Needs. I have added a chapter (26) on what churches can do to help fathers strengthen their spiritual leadership in their homes, congregations and communities. The hardbound version will be published on October 13, 2025. Obtain the Kindle version here: https://a.co/d/0HJS8QY
Your financial contributions allow us to serve fathers at no cost. Please consider donating.
Fathering Strong is powered by Urban Light Ministries, Inc., a not-for-profit organization founded in 1995 in Springfield, Ohio. Our mission is to turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to the Heavenly Father. Go to www.fatheringstrong.com to donate. To learn more about Urban Light Ministries’ history, work, and mission, explore www.urbanlight.org.
Boys in the U.S. are struggling academically compared to girls. This is reflected in several key areas, including grades, high school graduation rates, and college enrollment. Girls, on average, earn higher grades, are more likely to graduate on time, and are more likely to enroll in and complete a four-year degree. While boys have historically outperformed girls in math on standardized tests, this gap has been narrowing, and in some cases, reversed, particularly in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic. However, even with higher test scores, boys still tend to have lower GPAs in math.
Why Boys Are Falling Behind
Several factors contribute to the academic struggles of boys:
Developmental Differences – Boys’ brains, on average, mature more slowly than girls’, particularly in the areas responsible for impulse control, focus, and verbal skills. This can make it harder for them to succeed in traditional classroom settings that emphasize sitting still, following rules, and strong literacy skills in the early grades.
The School Environment – Many educational systems prioritize teaching methods that may favor girls’ learning styles, such as rote memorization and compliance, over the hands-on, active, and competitive approaches that often motivate boys. Boys also make up a disproportionately large number of students in special education and are more likely to be disciplined, suspended, or expelled.
Motivation and Aspirations – Some boys may struggle with a lack of motivation because they don’t see a clear connection between academic success and their future goals. They may question the value of a college degree or the relevance of what they’re being taught. The decline of traditionally male-dominated industries has also created uncertainty, leading some to feel that a conventional academic path isn’t a guaranteed route to a successful career.
Lack of Male Role Models – There is a significant shortage of male teachers in U.S. schools. This means many boys lack positive male role models in the classroom who can relate to their learning styles and provide guidance.
The Role of Involved Fathers as a Solution
Research consistently shows that an involved father has a powerful, positive impact on a child’s academic success and overall well-being. Fathers can be a crucial part of the solution by:
Modeling a Love of Learning – Fathers can demonstrate the value of education by actively engaging in their own learning. This can be as simple as reading a book, visiting a museum, or learning a new skill. Showing a son that curiosity and lifelong learning are important traits helps him develop a similar mindset.
Providing a Different Style of Interaction – Fathers often engage in more physical and challenging play, which helps children learn about risk-taking and self-regulation. They also tend to use more complex language and push children to think outside the box. This different style of interaction can help a son build confidence and problem-solving skills that are essential for academic and life success.
Being a Partner in Education – Fathers should be active participants in their son’s academic life, not just a passive figure. This means attending parent-teacher conferences, helping with homework, and communicating directly with teachers. Showing a consistent interest in a son’s schoolwork sends a clear message that his education is a priority.
Setting High Expectations – By setting clear boundaries and having high expectations for their sons’ academic performance, fathers can instill a sense of discipline and ambition. This authoritative parenting style, which combines love with clear rules, has been linked to better grades and a greater likelihood of pursuing higher education.
Encouraging Perseverance – Fathers can help their sons develop a “growth mindset” by teaching them that perseverance is more important than innate talent. When a son is struggling with a difficult problem, a father can encourage him to keep trying and help him break down the problem into smaller, more manageable steps. This teaches resilience and tenacity, which are critical for overcoming academic obstacles.
“When America catches a cold, minorities get pneumonia.”
– An old African American saying
Some Boys of Color Struggle More
Minority boys, particularly Black and Hispanic boys, face significant academic challenges in the U.S. that are often more pronounced than those of their white peers. These struggles are rooted in a combination of systemic and socioeconomic factors, and they are reflected in lower grades, higher suspension rates, and lower graduation rates.
Why Minority Boys Have More Academic Challenges
The challenges minority boys face in school are often a result of deeply ingrained issues within the educational system and society.
Socioeconomic Disparities: Boys from low-income families, which disproportionately include minority families, often attend schools that are underfunded. These schools may have fewer resources, less experienced teachers, and larger class sizes, all of which negatively impact academic performance.
Disproportionate Disciplinary Actions: Black and Hispanic boys are far more likely to be disciplined, suspended, or expelled than their white peers for the same infractions. This disproportionate punishment contributes to the “school-to-prison pipeline,” which funnels students out of the classroom and into the juvenile justice system. Suspension and expulsion lead to lost instructional time, lower grades, and a higher likelihood of dropping out.
Implicit Bias and Lack of Representation: A lack of diverse teaching staff can contribute to a disconnect between educators and minority students. Teachers, often unconsciously, may hold implicit biases that lead to lower expectations or harsher treatment for minority boys. A lack of positive male role models of color in the classroom can also make it difficult for these boys to see themselves reflected in academic success.
Achievement Gap: A persistent achievement gap exists in standardized test scores, with Black and Hispanic students consistently scoring lower in reading and math compared to their white and Asian peers. This gap can start in early education and widen over time.
How Fathers and Father Figures of Color Can Help
The presence of an involved father or male mentor can act as a powerful protective factor against these challenges. They can help by:
Promoting Positive Racial Identity: Fathers and male mentors of color can play a crucial role in fostering a positive self-image and a strong sense of racial and cultural identity. They can share their own experiences and teach boys to navigate a world where they may face discrimination, helping them build resilience and a sense of pride that counters negative stereotypes.
Serving as Role Models: For many boys, especially those without a father in the home, a mentor can provide a much-needed example of a successful and engaged man. This helps to counteract negative media portrayals and shows boys that education and hard work are viable paths to success. Mentors can guide them through academic and personal challenges, sharing their own life lessons and providing a different perspective.
Advocating for Their Sons: Fathers and father figures can be active advocates in the education system. This includes attending parent-teacher conferences, questioning disciplinary actions, and ensuring their sons have access to advanced classes and resources. By being a visible and vocal presence in their child’s school life, they send a clear message that their son’s education is a priority.
Encouraging a “Cool to Be Smart” Culture: Some minority boys may face peer pressure to disengage from academics. Fathers and mentors can challenge this by celebrating intellectual achievements and promoting the idea that being smart and successful is something to be proud of. They can engage in activities that foster curiosity, like reading, visiting museums, or working on hands-on projects together.
Filling the Gaps: When schools fail to provide adequate support, fathers and mentors can step in to fill the gaps. This could involve creating a structured homework routine, providing tutoring, or connecting boys with community programs that offer academic support and positive peer groups.
How Churches Can Help
Develop Mentoring Programs: Churches can establish formal mentoring programs that pair experienced, committed men with younger fathers or boys without a father figure. These programs should have a clear curriculum that goes beyond spiritual guidance to include practical advice on academic engagement.
Training: Mentors should be trained on how to advocate for a child in school, set up a homework schedule, and discuss a boy’s academic goals and challenges. This training can be integrated into existing men’s ministries or a new, dedicated program.
Host Workshops and Seminars: Regular workshops can equip fathers and mentors with tangible skills.
Topics: Workshop topics could include co-parenting communication, how to create a positive learning environment at home, navigating the school system, understanding a child’s learning style, and celebrating academic achievements.
Specialists: Churches can invite educational specialists, teachers, and school administrators to lead these sessions.
Create a Resource Library: Churches can provide access to resources that support academic success. This could be a physical or digital library.
Materials: This library could include books on effective parenting, study guides, and links to online educational resources.
Example: A church could provide a “Kindergarten Readiness Kit” to fathers of young children, or a list of tutoring services for older boys.
Promote a “Cool to Be Smart” Culture: Churches can help combat peer pressure by celebrating and elevating academic achievement within their communities.
Recognition: This could be as simple as acknowledging academic accomplishments in a church bulletin, during a service, or with a special award ceremony.
Community: This creates a culture where boys see that success in school is valued and celebrated by the men they look up to.
Utilize Existing Ministries: Existing church ministries, like men’s Bible studies or small groups, can be used as a platform to discuss the importance of being an academically involved father. Leaders can integrate discussions about a father’s role in education into their regular teachings and meetings. This normalizes the topic and encourages open conversations about struggles and successes.
Consider Developing a Long-Range Plan
Yours truly and Urban Light Ministries would be pleased to help your church create for your congregation a customized Fathering Strong Comprehensive Church-based Fatherhood Ministry that includes such programs that meet the practical needs of the fathers and children in your church and community.
Your financial contributions allow us to serve fathers at no cost. Please consider donating.
Fathering Strong is powered by Urban Light Ministries, Inc., a not-for-profit organization founded in 1995 in Springfield, Ohio. Our mission is to turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to the Heavenly Father. Go to www.fatheringstrong.com to donate. To learn more about Urban Light Ministries’ history, work, and mission, explore www.urbanlight.org.
As summer winds down and the new school year approaches, fathers have a unique opportunity to set their children up for success. Whether you’re preparing a kindergartener for their first day or helping an older child transition back to the classroom, your involvement as a dad makes all the difference. In my previous blog posts, we’ve explored various strategies to help you navigate this important season.
While buying school supplies is important, true back-to-school preparation goes much deeper. As outlined in the comprehensive guide “Preparing for the New School Year: A Dad’s Guide to Helping Kids Succeed,” fathers can focus on establishing routines, creating organized study spaces, and having meaningful conversations about goals and expectations. The key is starting these preparations weeks before school begins, not the night before.
One of the greatest gifts fathers can give their children is a love of learning. My post “A Dad’s Guide to Acing Back-to-School” emphasizes how dads can turn everyday moments into educational opportunities. From conducting kitchen science experiments to taking “math walks” around the neighborhood, fathers have countless ways to make learning fun and engaging. Remember, your enthusiasm for learning is contagious!
If you’re preparing a little one for kindergarten, “Getting Your Little One Ready for Kindergarten” provides specific strategies for this major milestone. Focus on building social and emotional skills, developing fine and gross motor abilities, and establishing consistent routines. Most importantly, foster that love of reading by making it a daily family activity with different voices, engaging questions, and plenty of enthusiasm.
As noted in “Creative Ways to Spend Quality Time with Your Children,” the statistics are sobering: 100 years ago, parents spent 54% of their waking hours with their children. Today, that figure is only 18%. The average father spends just 8-10 minutes per day with his children. No wonder kids often turn elsewhere when facing problems and temptations.
Whether it’s picking fruit at a local orchard, making homemade pizzas, or stargazing together, these shared experiences create lasting memories and open doors for meaningful conversations about life, values, and faith.
Your involvement shouldn’t end when school starts. Volunteer when possible, connect with teachers, attend school events, and create a supportive homework environment. Remember, you’re not there to do the work for them, but to guide, encourage, and celebrate their efforts.
Every week, the Fathering Strong blog provides practical insights, biblical wisdom, and real-world strategies to help you become a more informed and intentional father. Complement your reading with my weekly Fathering Strong podcast, where we dive deeper into the challenges and joys of fatherhood, offering encouragement and expert advice for your parenting journey.
But here’s the truth: fatherhood wasn’t meant to be a solo journey. As Scripture reminds us, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17). We need fellow fathers to encourage us, challenge us, and walk alongside us in this incredible calling.
Ready to connect with other fathers who share your commitment to intentional parenting? Join the Fathering Strong app today and become part of a community where dads support dads. Share your victories, seek advice during challenges, and discover that you’re not alone in this journey. Together, we can raise the next generation with strength, wisdom, and love.
The end of summer brings some amazing things—late nights, family trips, and a break from the routine. But it also means one thing is right around the corner: back-to-school season. As a dad, you probably know that it’s more than just a mad dash for school supplies and new clothes. This is a chance for you to take an active role in setting your kids up for a great year. Let’s make this back-to-school transition smooth, fun, and a real win for the whole family.
More Than Just Shopping: Getting Ready Together
Shopping for new shoes and backpacks is a classic part of the back-to-school ritual, but there’s so much more you can do to get your child ready. The key here is getting prepared in ways that go beyond the stores.
Getting into the Groove
The Sleep Shift: Those late summer nights are fun, but getting back to a school-year sleep schedule can be tough. About a week or two before school starts, gradually move bedtime and wake-up times earlier. This makes the first day of school a lot less jarring for everyone.
Practice Makes Perfect: Run through a “dry run” of the morning routine. Walk through getting dressed, eating breakfast, packing a lunch, and getting out the door on time. This helps your kids and you remember what the new normal will feel like.
Planning and Getting Organized
Be a Detective: Find out the school’s start date, drop-off and pick-up times, and all those important dates. It’s also smart to track down the school supply list and get a jump on things.
Homework Headquarters: Help your child create a dedicated study area. A quiet spot with minimal distractions is a must. Stock it with basic supplies like pencils, paper, and a planner so everything is in one place.
Label Everything: You know how it is. Things get lost. Labeling backpacks, lunchboxes, water bottles, and all their gear is a simple way to avoid the morning chaos.
A Few Other Smart Ideas
Chat About Last Year: Take a few minutes to talk about some of the things they learned last year. It’s a great way to help them refresh their memory and get back into the academic mindset.
Talk to Them: Take the time to talk about the upcoming year. Encourage them to reconnect with friends, brainstorm some goals, and, most importantly, talk about any worries or anxieties they have. Your support can make a huge difference.
Be Their Learning Buddy: Make Education Fun
As dads, we’re naturally wired to make things fun and exciting. Let’s use that energy to make learning an adventure!
Turn Learning into an Adventure
Science in the Kitchen: Mix some baking soda and vinegar for a fizzy volcano. It’s a simple, hands-on way to explore science. You can also explore density with everyday ingredients.
Math on the Go: Count cars on a road trip, estimate distances while you’re out walking, or compare prices at the grocery store. You can turn everyday tasks into learning opportunities.
Reading with Voices: When you read together, give characters different voices and sound effects. Making it silly and engaging can get your kids hooked on stories.
Special Tips for Kindergarten Dads
Read Books About School: There are tons of great picture books about starting kindergarten. Reading these together can help your child get excited and know what to expect.
Visit the School: Many schools have an open house or a chance to tour the classroom before school starts. If possible, take your kindergartener to see their room, meet the teacher, and play on the playground. This makes the new environment feel familiar and less intimidating.
Practice “School” at Home: Play-act the school day. You can be the teacher and your child can be the student. Practice things like raising a hand, lining up, and asking to use the restroom.
Talk About Feelings: Your child might be nervous, and that’s completely normal. Have open conversations with your partner and your child about their feelings. Reassure them that you’re both a team and will be there to support them.
Get Involved: Don’t Be a Stranger at School
Being involved in your child’s education means more than just helping with homework. It’s about being present and showing them that their school life matters to you.
Volunteer: See if the school has any volunteer opportunities. Whether it’s helping with a class party or coaching a team, your presence makes a statement.
Connect with Teachers: If you can, introduce yourself to your child’s teachers. Building that relationship early makes it easier to communicate throughout the year.
Show Up: Make time to attend school events—and not just the big sporting events. Show up at a science fair, a school play, or an open house. When your child sees you there, it sends a powerful message.
Help with Homework (Without Doing It for Them!)
Homework can sometimes feel like a chore, but you can be the supportive backbone your child needs. Remember, your job is to guide them, not give them the answers.
Guide, Don’t Do: Your role is to help them think through problems. Ask questions to get them to brainstorm ideas and point them toward resources.
Focus on the Effort: It’s easy to get frustrated, but try to stay patient and encouraging. Let them know you’re proud of their hard work, no matter what the grade is.
Team Up: If you have a partner, work together to create a consistent homework routine. This ensures everyone is on the same page.
Know Their Style: Some kids are visual learners, and others learn by doing. Try to tailor your approach to their learning style.
One of the most important things is creating a positive and supportive environment. By being patient, encouraging, and involved, you’re not just helping them succeed in school; you’re showing them that you’re their biggest fan.
What’s one thing you’re most excited about doing with your kids this school year?
Inspiration from the Holy Scriptures
Whether it is preparing a child for the beginning of their first year of kindergarten, helping them get ready for their freshman year of college, or at any other time, it’s vital to communicate caring.
He will feed his flock like a shepherd. He will carry the lambs in his arms, holding them close to his heart. He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young. – Isaiah 40:11
Picturing God the Father as the Great Shepherd, this verse offers a beautiful illustration of how fathers can demonstrate compassion and tenderness in their parenting.
Gathering and Carrying
Just as a shepherd gathers the vulnerable lambs in his arms, a father can gather his children, especially when they are small or feeling fragile. This isn’t just a physical act; it’s an emotional one. A father can gather his children by:
Offering physical comfort: A hug after a scraped knee, a reassuring hand on the shoulder during a scary movie or simply holding them close during story time.
Providing a safe haven: Being the person your child runs to when they’re scared, hurt, or upset. This means creating an environment where they know they will be met with understanding and protection, not judgment.
Celebrating their joys: Gathering them in moments of triumph, big or small. Celebrating their successes, whether it’s a good grade or a completed puzzle, shows them you are fully invested in their happiness.
Close to His Heart
The image of the shepherd carrying the lambs “close to his heart” speaks to intimacy and deep affection. For fathers, this means more than just being physically present; it’s about being emotionally connected.
Active Listening: Taking the time to listen to your child truly. Get down to their level, make eye contact, and give them your full attention when they are talking. This communicates that what they have to say matters.
Expressing Affection: Regularly telling your children you love them and showing them affection. This can be through words, notes in their lunchbox, or simply a warm smile.
Sharing Vulnerability: Being a good shepherd doesn’t mean being untouchable. Sharing appropriate feelings and experiences with your child, like admitting when you make a mistake, helps them see you as a real person and strengthens your bond.
Gently Leading
The final part of the verse, “he will gently lead the mother sheep with their young,” highlights the need for patient, gentle guidance. This is crucial for fathers as they guide their children through life’s challenges.
Patience over Pressure: A shepherd doesn’t rush the mother sheep and their young. Similarly, a father should be patient with his child’s development, understanding that every child learns and grows at their own pace. Avoid placing undue pressure on them to be perfect or to conform to a particular timeline.
Guidance with Grace: When a child makes a mistake, the father’s role is to guide them back to the right path gently. This means teaching them with love and wisdom, rather than with harshness or anger. It’s about explaining the “why” behind the rules and helping them learn from their errors.
Setting the Example: The most effective way to lead is by example. A father who lives with integrity, kindness, and compassion is gently leading his children by showing them what it looks like to be a good person. They learn not just from what you say, but from what you do.
Have a blessed back-to-school season and a successful academic year!
