The Bethlehem night air, usually crisp and clear, carried an unusual silence. It was the special kind of stillness that follows a miracle of God. A hushed reverence had settled over the stable. Inside, Joseph, a man whose hands knew the rough grain of wood and the patient shaping of plows, yokes, and furniture, had now tenderly held the delicate, newly born, Holy Infant.
He lovingly gazed at Mary, her face soft and luminous in the glow of a single lamp, and then at the tiny, swaddled form nestled in the manger. Jesus. God’s Son. Their son. His heart was full to overflowing.
Just hours before, the quiet of the night was broken by Mary’s cries and Joseph’s whispered prayers. Now, an impossible, overwhelming joy filled the stable. Yet, even in this sacred peace, Joseph’s heart, ever the protector, remained vigilant. He was a father, after all, and a craftsman, and an entrepreneur, accustomed to bracing against the unexpected. His beloved Mary, still fragile, and this precious Child – so vulnerable, so divine – were his to guard.
A sudden, urgent barking from outside the stable shattered the serenity. Joseph stiffened, his hand instinctively reaching for one of his tools, a hatchet, to use as a weapon, if needed. Footsteps, heavy and numerous, approached. Not the measured tread of a traveler, but a jostling, excited shuffle. His brow furrowed. Bethlehem was crowded, but even so, late-night visitors to a stable were unheard of. His mind, quick and practical, raced through possibilities: Roman soldiers? Robbers, drawn by the faint light?
He moved quietly, placing himself between the manger and the opening. “Who’s there?” he called out, his voice deeper than he intended, edged with a protective steel. A chorus of voices, boisterous and eager, spilled through the stable opening. “We’ve come to see Him! The baby! The Messiah!”
Joseph’s grip tightened on the hatchet. Messiah? What did these rough, unkempt men know of the Messiah? He could not see them clearly in the darkness, but he imagined them: shepherds, undoubtedly, from the hills surrounding Bethlehem. Honest folk, perhaps, but rough, and their fervor felt…unsettling. He imagined their dusty cloaks, their staffs, their flock dogs – hardly fitting company for the newly born King of Kings.
“What do you want?” he pressed, still not inviting them in. He could feel Mary’s gaze on his back, a silent trust that bolstered his resolve.
Then, one voice, older and calmer, rose above the others. “Sir, please! Don’t be afraid. We were in the fields, watching our sheep. And an angel – a glorious angel! – appeared to us! The glory of God blazed around us, and we were terrified!”
Joseph paused. An angel? He remembered his own sleepless nights, the angel’s message, the impossible truth that had slowly, painstakingly, settled in his soul.
“The angel told us,” another voice chimed in, breathless with excitement, “that the Savior, the Messiah, the King of Israel, was born today in David’s city! And that we’d find him wrapped up in a blanket, in a feeding trough!”
Joseph’s eyes flickered to the manger, to the simple, humble bed of straw where God Incarnate lay. Wrapped in a blanket. In a feeding trough. The details were too specific, too intimately true. His wary stance softened, just a bit.
“And then,” the older shepherd continued, his voice full of wonder, “the sky was filled with angels! A vast company, praising God! They were saying ‘Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among men with whom he is pleased!'”
The shepherds’ faces, when Joseph’s eyes finally adjusted enough to see them in their lantern light, were not menacing. They were bright with an almost childlike joy, their eyes wide with awe and reverence, their expressions mirroring the wonder he felt in his own heart. They were dirty, yes, their clothes smelling of sheep and dust, but their souls, he realized, were excited from a divine encounter.
He stepped aside, a quiet invitation. “Come in,” he murmured, his voice now devoid of suspicion.
The shepherds entered, their excitement hushed to a reverent whisper as they saw Mary and the baby. They knelt, some bowing their heads, others simply staring, tears tracing paths down their weathered cheeks. They spoke again, their stories tumbling out, a powerful testament to the impossible reality that lay before them.
As Joseph watched them, his heart swelled. Here were men, humble and unlearned, chosen by God to be the first witnesses to His Son’s earthly arrival. He had wanted to protect his family from the world, from danger, from the unknown. But in his protective instincts, he had almost missed the divine orchestration, the unexpected messengers of God’s grand design.
He looked at Mary, who was smiling gently at the shepherds, her eyes full of understanding. He looked at the baby, sleeping peacefully, utterly safe in the care of his parents and, more importantly, in the unshakeable hands of his Heavenly Father. Joseph understood then. His role was to protect, yes, but also to trust. To balance his earthly father’s heart with an unwavering faith in the divine plan. God had chosen him, a simple carpenter, to co-parent the Messiah. And if God could announce this miracle to humble shepherds in a field, He would surely watch over His Son and His chosen family, guiding them through every step of this incredible journey.
The stable, once a place of wary solitude, was now a sanctuary, filled with the warmth of shared wonder and the undeniable presence of God.
Inspiration from the Holy Scriptures
4 Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David, 5 to be registered with Mary, his betrothed wife, who was with child. 6 So it was, that while they were there, the days were completed for her to be delivered. 7 And she brought forth her firstborn Son, and wrapped Him in swaddling cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn. – Luke 2:4-7 NKJV
The Heavenly Father chose a man of high character, courage and unwavering faith, selected from all the males in the line of David, to serve as the surrogate father of His only begotten Son. In my story above, Joseph is depicted as an ordinary person, driven by the manly instinct to protect his young family. I imagine him overwhelmed by the responsibility and privilege of caring for this heavenly Child sent to be the King of Israel and Savior of the world. Joseph came to understand that this was Jehovah God’s doing, and that He is the ultimate Protector of His Son.
As earthly fathers, we too have the responsibility and privilege to protect, provide, and guide our families. Take heart that we are not in it alone. Let us continually look to the ultimate Father of our children for protection, provision, and guidance, trusting Him with all our hearts and leaning not on our own understanding. (Proverbs 3:5).
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Resources
For more on the topic of fatherhood, consider reading these new resources:
The new book The Family Shepherd: Guiding, Serving, and Protecting Your Flock with Love, Courage, and Enduring Faith – is now on Amazon for a January 1 release. PreSales available with Jan 2 delivery. Learn more here: https://www.amazon.com/Family-Shepherd-Guiding-Protecting-Enduring/dp/B0G6D44KC5?ref_=ast_author_dp&th=1&psc=1
Another new resource for fathers is the book Fathering Strong – God’s Blueprint for Leading Your Family by key ministry partner, Bruce Stapleton. Learn about it here: https://www.amazon.com/Fathering-Strong-Blueprint-Leading-Family/dp/B0F52HN91R
Read my newly revised and updated Father Love – The Powerful Resource Every Child Needs. I have added a chapter (26) on what churches can do to help fathers strengthen their spiritual leadership in their homes, congregations and communities. The hardbound version was published on October 13, 2025 and is available on Amazon and wherever books are sold. Obtain the Kindle version here: https://a.co/d/0HJS8QY
Your financial contributions allow us to serve fathers at no cost. Please consider donating.
Fathering Strong is powered by Urban Light Ministries, Inc., a not-for-profit organization founded in 1995 in Springfield, Ohio. Our mission is to turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to the Heavenly Father. Go to www.fatheringstrong.com to donate. To learn more about Urban Light Ministries’ history, work, and mission, explore www.urbanlight.org.
Parenting often feels like a marathon of self-sacrifice. In the daily grind of discipline, instruction, and care, it is easy to feel that the work is all “give” and very little “take.”
However, the Bible paints a different picture of faithful shepherding. It suggests that the hard work of raising children is not a thankless task, but an investment with profound returns. These rewards are not merely temporal payments, but the natural, God-ordained fruit of faithful diligence.
When we shepherd our children well, we unlock blessings rooted in spiritual continuity, social honor, personal peace, and future security.
Here is what the Bible says about the rewards of the faithful parent.
1. Wisdom and Joy in the Present
The most immediate blessings are the emotional and spiritual rewards that parents enjoy right now. We often think of parenting rewards as something far off in the future, but Scripture indicates that a well-guided child brings immediate alleviation of stress.
- Joy and Delight: Proverbs repeatedly emphasizes that a wise son makes a glad father (Proverbs 10:1). There is a specific, deep joy that comes from watching a child make wise choices based on the guidance you have provided.
- Rest from Shame: Successful parenting guards your peace of mind. Proverbs 29:17 promises, “Correct your son, and he will give you rest; yes, he will give delight to your soul.” Conversely, a child left to themselves brings “grief and shame.” Diligence today buys you emotional rest tomorrow.
- Personal Blessing: Just as a farmer eats from the crops he tends, a parent benefits from the care they give. Proverbs 27:18 reminds us, “He who tends the fig tree will eat its fruit.”
2. Stability and Security in the Future
As we look further down the road, the Bible presents children as a “strategic resource.” They are not just dependents; they are future defenders and comforters.
The Arrow Metaphor
Psalm 127:4-5 offers a powerful image: “Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth.”
Arrows are designed for impact. A warrior with a full quiver is secure. In biblical times, this spoke to honor and security in public life. Righteous children serve as advocates for their parents, ensuring they are “not put to shame when they speak with their enemies in the gate.”
Furthermore, there is the promise of comfort in old age. Shepherded children grow into adults who honor and care for their parents, ensuring that the older generation is not abandoned in their final years (Proverbs 23:22).
3. Spiritual Continuity and Eternal Impact
The greatest reward of all transcends our lifetime. It is the fulfillment of the covenant—seeing the legacy of faith continue and multiply.
- Covenant Fulfillment: The Old Testament mandate to teach children to love and obey God (Deuteronomy 6) is not just a rule; it is a mechanism for survival. The reward is the continuity of faith across generations.
- Fruit for the Harvest: Ultimately, our parenting aligns with the mission of the Chief Shepherd, Jesus Christ. When we raise children who follow Christ, we contribute to His eternal flock.
- Exaltation: Peter describes an “unfading crown of glory” for faithful shepherds (1 Peter 5:4). The ultimate reward is sharing in the joy of God, the Father who desires all His children to be restored.
❓ Reflection Questions
To help you apply these principles to your current season of parenting, take a moment to reflect on or discuss the following questions.
On Present Joy
The Glad Father: “A wise son makes a glad father.” (Proverbs 10:1)
- When you consider your children today, what specific choices or character traits in them bring you the deepest sense of delight?
- Action: Have you told them recently that they bring you joy, specifically mentioning these traits?
On Peace of Mind
Rest from Shame: “Correct your son… and he will give delight to your soul.” (Proverbs 29:17)
- What emotional or mental “rest” do you currently enjoy because you have been diligent in correcting and guiding your children in the past?
- Conversely, is there a current source of worry or lack of peace that stems from an area of guidance you know you have neglected?
On Future Strategy
The Arrow Metaphor: “Like arrows in the hand of a warrior…” (Psalm 127:4)
- What are you doing today to “sharpen your arrows”—training your children in truth, integrity, and competence—so they can stand strong in the public square later in life?
- Are you prioritizing the long-term goal of building a respectful relationship with your children, or are you sacrificing future honor for immediate convenience?
On Eternal Legacy
Fruit for the Shepherd: “And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory…” (1 Peter 5:4)
- If you stood before Christ today, what is the single most important spiritual fruit in your children’s lives that you would joyfully present to Him?
- What is the one non-negotiable spiritual discipline you are modeling today that you pray will still be active in their lives when they are old?
A Prayer for the Faithful Shepherd
“Heavenly Father, You are the Chief Shepherd of our souls. Thank You for the heritage and reward of these children.
Grant me the wisdom to guide them with patience and diligence, that they may bring delight to our home and rest to my soul. Sharpen them, Lord, like arrows for Your Kingdom—strong in integrity and bold in faith. May our legacy be a generation that loves You, and may we parent today with our eyes fixed on the unfading crown of glory.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
For more on the topic of fatherhood, read my newly revised and updated Father Love – The Powerful Resource Every Child Needs. I have added a chapter (26) on what churches can do to help fathers strengthen their spiritual leadership in their homes, congregations and communities. The hardbound version was published on October 13, 2025 and is available on Amazon and wherever books are sold. Obtain the Kindle version here: https://a.co/d/0HJS8QY
Another new resource for fathers is the book Fathering Strong – God’s Blueprint for Leading Your Family by key ministry partner, Bruce Stapleton. Learn about it here: https://www.amazon.com/Fathering-Strong-Blueprint-Leading-Family/dp/B0F52HN91R
Your financial contributions allow us to serve fathers at no cost. Please consider donating.
Fathering Strong is powered by Urban Light Ministries, Inc., a not-for-profit organization founded in 1995 in Springfield, Ohio. Our mission is to turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to the Heavenly Father. Go to www.fatheringstrong.com to donate. To learn more about Urban Light Ministries’ history, work, and mission, explore www.urbanlight.org.
Having established the need for the father-shepherd’s full presence and his commitment to both quantity and quality of time in previous installments of the Fathering Strong Blog, we now turn to the manner in which he leads. The father is the head of his house, but this is a call to service, not a coronation. The most effective shepherd leads not from a position of detached superiority but with the humility and sacrifice of a servant.
Strong, servant-minded fathers are the greatest asset to their families and communities. The positive impact you can have on building a better world for families and children cannot be overstated. But all true transformation begins within the boundaries of the flock—it starts at home. This article focuses on how you, the father-shepherd, can adopt the mantle of servant leadership to optimize your guidance and build a thriving, secure household.
The idea that being the head of the house grants one a position of superiority to be wielded like a sledgehammer is a profound misunderstanding of biblical leadership. This does not end well. A better understanding of the role of the family head is that of a servant leader.
Servant leadership is a philosophy and model of leadership that fundamentally prioritizes the needs of the people being served, putting them first and helping them to develop and perform at their highest potential. It is a person-centered approach, in stark contrast to the traditional, hierarchical model where the leader is at the top, issuing orders down a chain of command.
For the family shepherd, this model is not simply a business strategy; it is a divine calling. Your authority comes with the obligation to care for your flock.
Jesus’ washing of His disciples’ feet is a profound model of servant leadership, directly challenging worldly notions of power and greatness. This act provides a clear template for the father to lead his family with humility and by meeting their needs.
The account of Jesus washing His disciples’ feet (John 13:1-17) perfectly encapsulates servant leadership:
- Radical Humility: In first-century Jewish culture, washing guests’ feet was the task of the lowest servant or even a slave, especially at a formal meal. By taking off his outer garments, wrapping himself with a towel, and kneeling to perform this act, Jesus—their Lord and Teacher—intentionally took the position of the lowest servant. He did this even for Judas, who He knew was about to betray Him. This demonstrated that no task or person is beneath a true leader.
- Action Over Status: The disciples had just been arguing about which of them was the greatest (Luke 22:24). Jesus’ action served as a powerful, non-verbal object lesson that greatness in God’s kingdom is measured by service, not by position or authority.
- Setting an Example: Jesus explicitly told them, “I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you” (John 13:15). He didn’t just command service; He modeled it, showing them how to love and serve one another.
- Meeting a Practical Need: Beyond the spiritual lesson, He met a real, physical need. Their feet were dusty and dirty from the road, and this act provided essential cleansing and comfort.
The father, as the family’s shepherd, is called to lead his family in the same spirit, prioritizing the welfare of his wife and children over his own comfort or ego.
Leading with Humility
The foot-washing model teaches the family shepherd to lead from a position of lowly service, not lordly dominance:
- Humble Example: Like Jesus, the father should not wait for others to fill the most undesirable roles. Leading with humility means being the first to serve in the small, often unseen ways—doing the dirty work, getting up early, or taking on the tasks that no one wants to do, which can include chores, difficult conversations, or extending forgiveness.
- Prioritizing Others: Humility demands that the father “do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others” (Philippians 2:3-4). This means setting aside his own personal preferences or ego for the greater good and harmony of the family.
- Vulnerability and Apology: A truly humble leader is secure enough to admit when he is wrong and to ask his wife and children for forgiveness. This vulnerability fosters a culture of grace and honesty in the home.
- Emphasis on Service: The shepherd-leader sees his role as being of service to his family, not as a position of power over them.
- Empathy: He can put himself in the shoes of his children and wife, truly understanding their needs and feelings.
- Listening: He is a careful listener who makes time to hear the bleats, cries, and triumphs of his flock.
- Humility: He is humble and doesn’t see himself as being above the mundane, everyday tasks required to care for the fold.
- Stewardship: He acts as a careful steward of his family’s well-being and is committed to their long-term spiritual and emotional success.
- Empowerment: He empowers his wife and children to make decisions and take responsibility appropriate to their maturity.
- Growth: He is committed to the personal and spiritual growth of every member of his family.
God created the first man, Adam, and placed him as the head of his family to love, lead, and serve them. Servant leadership of the family is a great privilege and a profound responsibility. The shepherd-leader fosters a happy and thriving family environment by applying these principles daily:
- Empathy and Understanding: Put yourself in the shoes of each family member. Actively listen to their concerns and communicate with open, honest vulnerability.
- Empowerment and Autonomy: Encourage your family members to take ownership. Delegate chores and responsibilities based on age and ability, providing guidance but allowing room for independent learning and growth. The flock must learn to graze and navigate the field safely on its own.
- Growth and Development: Foster a supportive environment where everyone feels encouraged to learn and reach their full potential. Provide opportunities for education, skill development, and character growth.
- Collaboration and Teamwork: Approach tasks and challenges as a team, working together toward common goals. Involve family members in decision-making processes and celebrate successes as a unified flock.
- Humility and Service: Be willing to roll up your sleeves and get involved in the everyday tasks of running the household. Prioritize the needs of the family above your own and lead by example through persistent acts of service.
For the family shepherd, the relationship with the mother of his children is the foundation of the whole fold. Loving and serving her is the key to building a strong family. Women consistently tell me that it is not difficult for a wife to follow a husband who loves her, serves her well, and leads with honor. To build a stronger relationship, try out-serving her. Saying “I love you” is good, but loving actions speak louder.
The shepherd-leader applies his principles directly to his marriage:
Servant Shepherd Principles in Marriage
Empathy and Understanding
- Practical Action: Actively listen to her, giving your full attention. Validate her emotions, acknowledging her feelings even if you don’t fully agree.
Empowerment and Autonomy
- Practical Action: Be an equal partner in chores and childcare, delegating tasks based on strengths. Support her personal and professional goals and respect her judgment.
Growth and Development
- Practical Action: Prioritize communication about your relationship and future. Be open to feedback to grow together. Encourage her hobbies and learning pursuits.
Humility and Service
- Practical Action: Be willing to serve by offering help with everyday tasks without being asked. Be ready to put her needs second and apologize sincerely when you make mistakes.
Remember: Your children are watching. They are observing how you serve their mother, and they are learning what true love, respect, and leadership look like.
Guiding your Lambs (Children)
Children do not primarily need a buddy; they need a father—a mature, responsible, loving, and nurturing adult male role model to shepherd them. Servant leadership in parenting is about creating a nurturing environment where your children feel loved, valued, and empowered to reach their potential.
Servant leadership is a journey, not a destination. It’s about building a strong foundation of trust, respect, and collaboration within the fold. By consistently applying these principles, you create a nurturing environment where every sheep and lamb feels valued, empowered, and supported to thrive.
Inspiration from the Holy Scriptures
The ultimate example of the shepherd’s servant heart is found in the compassion modeled by God Himself. This is the quality to which every father is called:
“As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him.” — Psalm 103:13
Your call as a shepherd is to lead with this divine compassion, prioritizing service over status and humility over pride. Lead by serving, and you will lead well.
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For more on the topic of fatherhood, read my newly revised and updated Father Love – The Powerful Resource Every Child Needs. I have added a chapter (26) on what churches can do to help fathers strengthen their spiritual leadership in their homes, congregations and communities. The hardbound version was published on October 13, 2025 and is available on Amazon and wherever books are sold. Obtain the Kindle version here: https://a.co/d/0HJS8QY
Another new resource for fathers is the book Fathering Strong – God’s Blueprint for Leading Your Family by key ministry partner, Bruce Stapleton. Learn about it here: https://www.amazon.com/Fathering-Strong-Blueprint-Leading-Family/dp/B0F52HN91R
Your financial contributions allow us to serve fathers at no cost. Please consider donating.
Fathering Strong is powered by Urban Light Ministries, Inc., a not-for-profit organization founded in 1995 in Springfield, Ohio. Our mission is to turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to the Heavenly Father. Go to www.fatheringstrong.com to donate. To learn more about Urban Light Ministries’ history, work, and mission, explore www.urbanlight.org.
Fathers are called to the essential ministry of shepherding their families. This role requires mirroring the protective, sacrificial, and guiding love exemplified by God (the Great Shepherd), Jesus (the Good/Chief Shepherd), and spiritual leaders (the under-shepherds).
The essence of a father’s shepherding is built upon four non-negotiable duties.
1. Provision and Sustenance: Creating the Green Pastures
The shepherd ensures the flock lacks nothing, leading them to environments that promote life and rest (Psalm 23:1-2). A father’s provision extends far beyond financial means; it is about creating a stable, nurtured life.[i]
- Physical Provision: This is the baseline duty: working diligently to provide food, shelter, and material security for the family.
- Spiritual Sustenance (Still Waters): Just as God guides us to life-giving truth, the father must be the primary source of spiritual nourishment. This means leading the family in prayer, reading and discussing Scripture, and modeling genuine faith, leading them beside the “still waters” of truth and peace (Deuteronomy 6:6-7).
- Emotional Provision (Green Pastures): The shepherd creates a place of rest where the sheep can lie down safely and securely. A father’s duty is to ensure the home is a haven of peace and stability—a Green Pasture free from chaos, fear, and hostility. His commitment to loving his wife (Ephesians 5:25) is the foundation of this security for the children.
2. Protection and Sacrifice: The Rod Against the Wolf
Jesus established the highest standard by being the Good Shepherd who lays down His life for the sheep (John 10:11). A father’s love must be sacrificial, placing the family’s security above his own comfort.
- Sacrificial Presence: Protection begins not with a grand act, but with the daily sacrifice of time and attention. Shepherding is not delegation; it is presence. A father lays down his life by giving up personal pursuits to be present, engaged, and focused on his children.
- Guarding Against the Wolves: A father serves as the spiritual gatekeeper and defender (The Rod). This requires active vigilance, not passive observation, against the “wolves” that threaten a child’s innocence and future:
- Harmful media and online predators (pornography and other destructive content).
- Destructive peer influence and cultural pressures.
- Addictive or ruinous habits (gambling, substance abuse, etc).
- Shepherding in Crisis (The Valley): The most profound comfort of Psalm 23 is knowing the Shepherd is present in the “valley of the shadow of death” (Psalm 23:4). A father must be the family’s rock through loss, fear, and suffering, modeling resilience and directing the family’s hope toward God.
3. Guidance and Correction: The Staff of Wisdom
Pastors are called to shepherd (the verb) by leading the flock, modeling faith, and restoring those who have strayed. In much the same way, a father is the children’s primary shepherd, reflecting the guidance of Christ.
- Leading by Example (The Path): The shepherd walks ahead of the flock, and the sheep follow. A father’s personal integrity and humility are the most potent forms of guidance. His children are watching his work ethic, his treatment of his wife, and his own devotion to God—this is the path they will follow (1 Peter 5:3).
- Intimate Knowledge and Accountability: Just as Jesus knows His sheep by name, a father must know his children intimately—their struggles, their gifts, and their “spiritual temperature” (John 10:14). This intimate knowledge is essential for effective guidance.
- Redemptive Correction (The Staff): The shepherd uses the hook of his staff to pull a straying sheep back to safety; he does not use it to beat them. A father’s correction must be redemptive, aimed at restoring the child to the right path (Proverbs 29:15). This loving correction establishes clear boundaries—the Comfort of the Rod and Staff—which are an expression of care and security, not anger.
- Seeking the Lost: If a child strays, the father must actively pursue, call, and restore that child, demonstrating the unconditional love of God the Father while patiently seeking their return and repentance.
The earthly father, in his role as a spiritual shepherd to his family, derives his authority and capacity solely from his submission to the Triune God. To lead his family effectively, his own life must be one of discipleship and humility under authority.
4. The Father Must Follow Christ
The father’s leadership must be a faithful reflection of Christ, the Good Shepherd. He cannot guide his family where he is unwilling to walk himself. His primary duty is to model genuine discipleship, defined by submission to the Lord. His moral authority is validated by the humility of his own obedience, allowing him to authentically echo the Apostle’s instruction: “Follow me as I follow Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1).
The Father Must Yield to the Leading of the Holy Spirit
A godly father must first be a follower, ensuring his decisions and direction for his children are rooted in divine wisdom, not personal impulse. By actively yielding to the leading of the Holy Spirit, he secures the internal guidance necessary to maintain the “paths of righteousness” (Psalm 23:3), correcting with grace and teaching with spiritual authority.
The Father Must Submit to Appointed Church Leadership
The father must model for his family the importance of submission to spiritual covering as he submits to the human “under-shepherds” God has given to the Church — apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors (shepherds), and teachers.[ii] A father’s willing submission to his spiritual leaders demonstrates the principle of spiritual accountability. It secures a vital layer of support and oversight for his family’s spiritual well-being. This leadership was established by God to “keep watch over your souls, as those who must give an account” (Hebrews 13:17), ensuring the father and his family remain securely in the broader fold of God’s people.
Leading to the Chief Shepherd
A father is an imperfect, temporary under-shepherd. His entire ministry is measured by how effectively he leads his family to the one source of perfect provision and eternal security: Jesus Christ, the Chief Shepherd (1 Peter 5:4).
His goal is not to keep the sheep for himself, but to ultimately guide them to the feet of the Great Shepherd who will welcome them into the eternal Father’s house.
🐑 Your Next Step: Leading to the Chief Shepherd
You are an under-shepherd, called to reflect the protective, sacrificial, and guiding love of Christ. The authority for this vital ministry is rooted not in your strength, but in your submission to the Triune God.
Now that you have considered the four non-negotiable duties of Provision, Protection, Guidance, and Following Christ, the challenge is to move from understanding to doing.
🛠️ Commit to Action: The Shepherd’s Assessment
- Personal Inventory: Take a moment for honest reflection. Using the four duties discussed, identify one area where you know you are consistently leading well, and one specific area where the Holy Spirit is prompting you to strengthen your shepherding this week.
- Guard the Gate: We talked about the “wolves” that threaten the innocence and future of your family (media, destructive content, etc.). What is the single greatest “wolf” currently threatening your home? Decide on one concrete action you will take today to better stand guard.
- Model Submission: Your leadership is validated by your humility. Who is your spiritual covering? Send this post to another father or spiritual leader you trust and commit to discussing how you can better submit to the guidance of the spiritual under-shepherds God has placed over the Church (Hebrews 13:17).
Join the Conversation
What’s your biggest takeaway from this series? Share your reflections or the challenge you’re committing to in the comments below. Let’s stand together as fathers committed to guiding our families to the only source of perfect provision and eternal security: Jesus Christ, the Chief Shepherd.
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For more on the topic of fatherhood, read my newly revised and updated Father Love – The Powerful Resource Every Child Needs. I have added a chapter (26) on what churches can do to help fathers strengthen their spiritual leadership in their homes, congregations and communities. The hardbound version was published on October 13, 2025 and is available on Amazon and wherever books are sold. Obtain the Kindle version here: https://a.co/d/0HJS8QY
Another new resource for fathers is the book Fathering Strong – God’s Blueprint for Leading Your Family by key ministry partner, Bruce Stapleton. Learn about it here: https://www.amazon.com/Fathering-Strong-Blueprint-Leading-Family/dp/B0F52HN91R
Your financial contributions allow us to serve fathers at no cost. Please consider donating.
Fathering Strong is powered by Urban Light Ministries, Inc., a not-for-profit organization founded in 1995 in Springfield, Ohio. Our mission is to turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to the Heavenly Father. Go to www.fatheringstrong.com to donate. To learn more about Urban Light Ministries’ history, work, and mission, explore www.urbanlight.org.
[i] Chifamba, E. (2014). A Strategy to Train Local Church Elders for Effective Assimilation and Nurture of New Converts. https://doi.org/10.32597/dmin/262/
[ii] Ephesians 4:11-16
In part one of this series, we wrote about the necessity of shepherds. Their vulnerabilities, their helplessness against predators, their inability to find sustenance, and their proneness to wandering. Therefore, the shepherd is vital to providing selfless, 24/7 care for the sheep.
The father, like a shepherd, plays a critical role in lovingly leading, providing for, and protecting his family, knowing that their survival and flourishing depend on his intimate knowledge, courage, and faithful vigilance.
In this installment, we will look at the relationship between the shepherd and his flock, with a focus on their complete trust in him.
The Trust of Sheep
In discussing sheep and shepherds with a friend, he shared this story.
As a young man, I served my country in the Air Force. I was a Weapon Systems Officer in the F-4E Phantom II jet fighter-bomber. I flew 180+ combat missions in Southeast Asia. If asked if God had saved and protected me, I would have said “Yes, certainly. We once brought back an airplane with part of a wing missing, and the time we scraped the treetops.” God had His purpose in these events, but He had another object lesson for me.
Later, I was flying in Turkey. We would take off from Incirlik Air Base (at the northeast corner of the Mediterranean), fly over the Tarsus mountains, and go to a practice bomb range at Konya (where Paul was beaten and kicked out). On the return flight, we passed over a large, central arid area. The region was sparse – a few huts, a few crops, and lots of sheep.
From 20,000 feet, we could see flocks of sheep grazing and decided to have some fun. We dropped down to our minimum allowed altitude to buzz the sheep. Now the F-4 is a LOUD airplane, trailing clouds of ominous black smoke. Not understanding, the sheep perceived they were under attack by giant, ugly birds of prey – they sought safety and protection. This I witnessed – the sheep RAN to their shepherd, converging into a massive ball of wool at his camp. They believed and trusted in him.
Now I get it. The sheep knew their shepherd and absolutely trusted him for their safety and protection. The shepherd knew his sheep and would give his life to protect them. How thrilling to know, as a sheep, I have a Shepherd who knows me and gave His life for me. Through faith, belief, and trust in my Good Shepherd, Jesus, I am truly saved and under His protection.
The sheep’s total vulnerability means the shepherd is not merely a caretaker but the source of their life, safety, and direction. The fragility of the flock makes the shepherd’s diligence and character the most critical factor in their survival.
Family shepherds are likewise a vital element in the well-being of our families. Being present, vigilant, courageous, and trustworthy gives comfort to our children, knowing that they are safe with us.
Psalm 23
King David, the former shepherd boy, lyrically described God’s loving care for Him as his Divine Shepherd, and the trust he had in Him.
Blessed Assurance of Provision
The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
2 He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
3 He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake. – Psalm 23
In the first stanza (verses 1-3), David expressed absolute assurance that just as a human shepherd makes sure the sheep have plenty of tender grass to eat, quiet water from which to drink, and a safe place to sleep comfortably, Jehovah Jireh (“The Lord my provider”) would be the supplier of all his daily needs.
He had no lack of food, water, or rest for his body or soul as he followed His Shepherd’s leading.
Safe and Sound
4Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. – Psalm 23
In verse 4, David wrote of his complete safety and security as he followed his Divine Shepherd through dark and dangerous passages where evil lurked, not even fearing death. His assurance came from knowing his Shepherd was near and armed with a powerful rod and staff.
The rod is a short, heavy club, often with a knob on the end, sometimes studded with nails. The staff was long enough to keep predators at a distance. With those weapons, a shepherd fights off wild animals and human predators that threaten the sheep. David was comforted knowing his Shepherd would never use His weaponry against him, but to bludgeon his enemies.
Abundance of Blessings
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over. – Psalm 23
In verse 5a, David wrote and sang about having a Shepherd who provided him with a banquet of spiritual blessings, even though his enemies surrounded him. While his foes, both the four-legged and two-legged kind, were seeking to destroy him, Jehovah Jireh was providing everything David needed in abundance as they watched. “In yo’ face!” kids might say.
His Healer
During the course of the day, sheep can get cuts on their heads from certain plants due to their sharp burr-like structures. They are also in danger from pests that can infect their eyes, nose, and ears.
As a shepherd pours oil upon the head of the sheep to heal their physical injuries and to protect them from parasites, David, despite being a king, continually experienced wounds and dangers, making spiritual “oil” a personal necessity for him. In verse b, David testified to the Great Shepherd’s tender loving care.
- Soothed Wounds: David suffered intense emotional and psychological wounds from numerous crises: Saul’s relentless pursuit, the loss of his son, and the weight of his own sin (e.g., the affair with Bathsheba). God, as his Shepherd, provided the “oil” of forgiveness and emotional restoration to soothe his guilt and heal his spirit. The oil represents God’s tenderness in binding up the wounds of His deeply flawed but repentant servant.
- Protection from Pests: David was constantly harassed by “pests” – his enemies (both foreign and domestic, like Absalom). The oil covering his head represented God’s protective presence, shielding his mind and spirit from the debilitating fear and distraction caused by those who sought his downfall. It assured him that God was actively defending his thoughts and peace.
Faith-Filled Finale
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Forever. – Psalm 23
The constant tender loving care, provision, guidance, and protection of the Great Shepherd so overwhelmed David that he declared in complete confidence that his eternal future was secure (verse 6).
David concluded the song with the faith-filled proclamation that his Shepherd’s unmerited favor would never leave him. He was without doubt that as long as he faithfully followed His Shepherd, he would be continually surrounded by His abundant goodness and loving kindness for the remainder of his days on earth.
Then, after being pursued by God’s goodness and unfailing compassion throughout his earthly life, the Great Shepherd would welcome him into His heavenly home to live with Him forever.
Summary
The Psalmist depicted Almighty God, in whose image we are created, as the Divine Shepherd. It is an appropriate and beautiful way of illustrating the gentle, caring, and nurturing nature of our God. A metaphor that was easily understood by the people of the time. Fathers are called to the essential ministry of shepherding our families. This role requires mirroring the protective, sacrificial, and guiding love exemplified by God in the 23rd Psalm.
God calls fathers to a ministry of:
- Provision and sustenance
- Physical, spiritual, and emotional
- Protection
- From predators: harmful media, destructive peer influences, bad habits, etc.
- Sacrifice
- Laying aside personal pursuits to be engaged and focused on his children.
- Guidance and Correction
- Providing redemptive correction
- Following Christ
- Setting the example of submitting to the congregational under shepherd.
- Leading the family to Christ
In a later installment of this series, we will delve deeper into each of those aspects of family shepherding.
Next week, we will draw more from the metaphor of the Heavenly Father as the Great Shepherd, and Jesus Christ as the Chief Shepherd.
To review the earlier posts in this series on Fathers as Family Shepherds click on the links below:
Fathers As Family Shepherd
Fathers As Family Shepherds – Part 2
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For more on the topic of fatherhood, read my newly revised and updated Father Love – The Powerful Resource Every Child Needs. I have added a chapter (26) on what churches can do to help fathers strengthen their spiritual leadership in their homes, congregations and communities. The hardbound version was published on October 13, 2025 and is available on Amazon and wherever books are sold. Obtain the Kindle version here: https://a.co/d/0HJS8QY
Another new resource for fathers is the book Fathering Strong – God’s Blueprint for Leading Your Family by key ministry partner, Bruce Stapleton. Learn about it here: https://www.amazon.com/Fathering-Strong-Blueprint-Leading-Family/dp/B0F52HN91R
Your financial contributions allow us to serve fathers at no cost. Please consider donating.
Fathering Strong is powered by Urban Light Ministries, Inc., a not-for-profit organization founded in 1995 in Springfield, Ohio. Our mission is to turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to the Heavenly Father. Go to www.fatheringstrong.com to donate. To learn more about Urban Light Ministries’ history, work, and mission, explore www.urbanlight.org.
The Heavenly Father as The Great Shepherd
The previous post provided an abbreviated overview of the occupation of shepherding and its importance for the well-being of sheep. In this series, we are surveying what the Bible reveals about shepherds, the standard set by Almighty God as the Divine Shepherd, the example of congregational shepherds, and the role of fathers as family shepherds.
In the 23rd Psalm, King David, the former shepherd boy, lyrically describes God’s loving care for Him as his Divine Shepherd. It is imagery his contemporaries would easily understand. In this beautiful song of praise, we get a glimpse of the loving care David’s God provided for David.
I grouped Psalm 23 into four stanzas—the first three focus on aspects of the Great Shepherd’s care for David. The final one is a testimony of David’s faith-filled confidence in an eternal future in the presence of God.
The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
2 He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
3 He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake. – Psalm 23:1-3
David wrote and sang this praise of the LORD God for being his Shepherd who faithfully provided for all his needs.
In the first stanza, David expressed absolute confidence that just as a human shepherd makes sure the sheep have plenty of tender grass to eat, quiet water from which to drink, and a safe place to sleep comfortably, Jehovah Jireh (“The Lord my provider”) would be the supplier of all his daily needs.
He had no lack of food, water, or rest for his body or soul as he followed His Shepherd’s leading.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. – Psalm 23:4
David felt complete safety and security as he followed his Divine Shepherd through dark and dangerous passages where evil lurked, not even fearing death. His assurance came from knowing his Shepherd was near and armed with a powerful rod and staff.
The rod is a short, heavy club, often with a knob on the end, sometimes studded with nails. The staff was long enough to keep predators at a distance. With those weapons, a shepherd fights off wild animals and human predators that threaten the sheep. David was comforted knowing his Shepherd would never use His weaponry against him, but to bludgeon his enemies.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over. – Psalm 23:5
Blessings
In verse 5a, David wrote and sang about having a Shepherd who provided him with a banquet of spiritual blessings, even though his enemies surrounded him. While his foes, both the four-legged and two-legged kind, were seeking to destroy him, Jehovah Jireh was providing everything David needed in abundance as they watched. “In yo’ face!” kids might say.
Healing
During the course of the day, sheep can get cuts on their heads from certain plants due to their sharp burr-like structures. They are also in danger from pests that can infect their eyes, nose, and ears.
As a shepherd pours oil upon the head of the sheep to heal their physical injuries and to protect them from parasites, David, despite being a king, continually experienced wounds and dangers, making spiritual “oil” a personal necessity for him. In verse 5b, David testified to the Great Shepherd’s tender loving care.
- Soothed Wounds: David suffered intense emotional and psychological wounds from numerous crises: Saul’s relentless pursuit, the loss of his son, and the weight of his own sin (e.g., the affair with Bathsheba). God, as his Shepherd, provided the “oil” of forgiveness and emotional restoration to soothe his guilt and heal his spirit. The oil represents God’s tenderness in binding up the wounds of His deeply flawed but repentant servant.
- Protection from Pests: David was constantly harassed by “pests” – his enemies (both foreign and domestic, like Absalom). The oil covering his head represented God’s protective presence, shielding his mind and spirit from the debilitating fear and distraction caused by those who sought his downfall. It assured him that God was actively defending his thoughts and peace.
The Ministry of the Holy Spirit
Oil is a biblical reference to the Spirit of God. The ceremonial act of anointing with oil symbolized setting apart a person or object for a particular purpose. David was anointed king by Samuel when he was a boy. I believe David sang praises to God out of gratitude that the spiritual oil of God was overflowing upon him. He rejoiced in the abundant reassurance that the Holy Spirit’s presence, power, and favor were upon his life and kingship, honoring him, despite his enemies’ desire to destroy him.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Forever. – Psalm 23:6
The constant tender loving care, provision, guidance, and protection of the Great Shepherd so overwhelmed David that he declared in complete confidence that his eternal future was secure (verse 6).
David concluded the song with the faith-filled proclamation that his Shepherd’s unmerited favor would never leave him. He was without doubt that as long as he faithfully followed His Shepherd, he would be continually surrounded by His abundant goodness and loving kindness for the remainder of his days on earth.
Then, after being pursued by God’s goodness and unfailing compassion throughout his earthly life, the Great Shepherd would welcome him into His heavenly home to live with Him forever.
Summary and Conclusion
The Psalmist depicted Almighty God, in whose image we are created, as the Divine Shepherd. It is a culturally appropriate, beautiful way of illustrating the gentle, caring, and nurturing nature of our God.
The role of a father is often depicted by Christians as a Roman soldier. There certainly are aspects of fathering that require a warrior-like stance. We must be ready to protect and defend our families.
It is my thesis that the provision, protection, blessings, and hope experienced by David in the care of his Divine Shepherd is the perfect illustration of loving parenting. Earthly fathers cannot do better than to emulate the nurturance of Almighty God in shepherding our families.
In Part 3 of the Fathers as Family Shepherds series, we will explore some of the other scriptural references of God portrayed as the Divine Shepherd. In forthcoming installments, we will draw parallels for pastors and earthly fathers.
Actionable Steps
This week, memorize and meditate on Psalm 23.
Ask: How is God shepherding me? What are ways in which I can be a better shepherd of my family?
Prayer
Thank You, Heavenly Father, for Your loving provision, protection, and blessings in my life. Help me to be more like You in caring for and leading my family.
____________________________________________________________________________________
For more on the topic of fatherhood, read my newly revised and updated Father Love – The Powerful Resource Every Child Needs. I have added a chapter (26) on what churches can do to help fathers strengthen their spiritual leadership in their homes, congregations, and communities. The hardbound version was recently published and is available on Amazon and wherever books are sold. Obtain the Kindle version here: https://a.co/d/0HJS8QY
Another new resource for fathers is the book Fathering Strong – God’s Blueprint for Leading Your Family by key ministry partner, Bruce Stapleton. Learn about it here: https://www.amazon.com/Fathering-Strong-Blueprint-Leading-Family/dp/B0F52HN91R
Your financial contributions allow us to serve fathers at no cost. Please consider donating.
