The Father as the Stabilizer

This is the final video in the series “Fathering in the Pandemic”. Learn why a father’s presence and engagement in the life of his family is critical during these unprecedented times. The father’s unconditional love and nurturing of his children is the most important stabilizer for his family.

A stabilizer is something that is used to make sure something is stable or steady. Families need fathers to keep the family steady, when instability occurs, chaos arises. Now more than ever, families need a steady guide at the head of the household, a father who can guide the family through the storms of life. Yet, in order for a father to be the steady hand on which his family stands, he must first take a look at his own life and his own upbringing.

If your family was on rocky grounds and perhaps your relationship with your own father was less than stable, you first must make amends with that relationship before you can lead your current family. Take some time to assess your background, what was life like for you growing up. Did you have a steady stabilizer in your home? If not, what was missing? If instability was a common thread in your home as a child, you can totally appreciate how important it is for a father to be the steady force that guides a home. If you were lucky enough to have that stable father in your home as a child, then you know the value that his wisdom and guidance brought to your family.

Here are a few key stabilizers for your home:

  • Seek first guidance from God for wisdom, grace and mercy
  • Make sure your home is a safe place for your child
  • Pray with your children, share your faith, worship together
  • Let your child know that you love them unconditionally/hug them daily
  • Have a family meeting and set up some rules/guidelines for expected behaviors/chores
  • Read to your children and let them read to you
  • Expect excellence in their education, not that you expect all A’s but that you expect your child to put for every effort to do their best
  • Teach your child to be respectful (respect themselves and others)
  • Find an organization that you want to support and volunteer together as a family
  • Check in on your neighbors
  • Be hospitable, make your home a place where your children want to bring their friends
  • Say something positive and encouraging to your child
  • Be humble and vulnerable, ask for forgiveness when needed
  • Be there, be present in the home as much as you can- You Matter!!

At the end of the day, the best way a father can be a stabilizer is by being active in the lives of his children. You are important, there is no one else like a father, You make a difference! May God bless you and your family.

Biblical References

Father as the Stabilizer

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
(Joshua 1:9)

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
(1 Corinthians 13:4-7)