The Long-term Consequences of Growing Up Without a Father

Father absence is the root cause of societies problems today. The research is overwhelming and makes the point with clear and unequivocal evidence: children need good dads.

Children Need Good Dads

An article written by Bob Griffin stated the real problem; “The need for a father is on an epidemic scale, and the “father deficit” should be treated as a public health issue.”

According to the 2020 U.S. Census 18.4 million children are living without a biological father. This means that out of the 73 million children in the U.S. 23% are without a present father. This number has doubled since 1968 and continues to increase. Literature associated with father absence indicates that growing up in a father absent household can be associated with negative wellbeing and life adversity among children. Father absence can have negative effects on a child’s life such as depression, drug and alcohol abuse, anxiety, psychological issues, a tendency for violence, and sexual and criminal activities. Absence is also felt by the mothers as they work through pregnancy, birth, and raising a child alone.

A detailed research study titled, “Father Facts Eight Edition,” published in 2019, by the National Fatherhood Initiative consolidated over 212 research projects and studies conducted on the effects of families and communities due to a lack of a father in the home.

The research is overwhelming and makes the point with clear and unequivocal evidence: children need good dads.

The Impact of Father Love

Eli Williams, the author of the book,” Father Love – The Powerful Resource that Every Child Needs,” defines what it means to be a loving father and the protector, order keeper, provider, and stabilizer the family and community needs to remain strong and vibrant. In the book he ties together the important aspects of not only working to become a better father but also making the commitment to be a loving and faithful servant to God. Becoming a stronger father means becoming committed to the word of God. It is the belief that giving your life to Christ is the way to becoming a more loving and stronger father.

The last verse in the Old Testament of the Bible that was written before Christ came to this earth is in Malachi 4:6 – “And we will turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers, Lest I come and strike the earth with a curse.” A clear statement of the impact a father plays in the role of his children and the stability of society.

Causes of father absence is a complex phenomenon produced by many circumstances and situations. Some are related to choices people make about fertility, marriage, and cohabitation.

But others are the results of unexpected events, illnesses, or incarceration. It is very likely that fatherlessness has different meanings and implications for those of differing social classes.

A father is called to be the leader and protector of the household. This may be foreign to most fathers who choose to be absent in their child’s lives.

This paper supports the impact statement of the mission for Fathering Strong, a network and community established to build up fathers and support their needs to become stronger and more committed leaders of the families and followers of Jesus Christ.

The Facts of Father Absence

At a national level 18.4 million children are living without their biological father.

Father absence disproportionally affects black children, and nearly a quarter of American children live in father-absent homes. The table below identifies the percentages by ethnicity.

In 2017, 35% of unmarried parents cohabitated and 53% of unmarried parents were solo mothers. Resident fathers had consistently higher levels of involvement than separated/divorced and nonresident fathers; however, both types of fathers did not have statistically different involvement when their child was 1 year old. Some additional facts revealed by the study included:

• Separated and divorced fathers had a higher level of involvement than nonresident fathers.
• Father Involvement was found to decrease over time
• Fathers with Education including high school or bachelor’s degree were found to be more involved

The Positive Impact of a Present Father

Children need an involved father in their lives. Research has proven that children that grow up with a father in their lives do better in almost every aspect that was measured.

In a study conducted by professors at the University of Missouri it was found that adolescents who had resident biological or adoptive fathers were shown to have higher GPAs than those with unknown fathers. Adolescents with unknown fathers, deceased fathers, and non-residential fathers all had lower GPAs than those with residential biological fathers. Divorce, non-marital birth, and child abandonment all negatively affect a child’s GPA and their ability to do well in school.

A subsample of Black adolescents from the National Longitudinal Survey of Adolescent Health revealed the impact a father figure (i.e. non-biological fathers) can have on the education of a child. The research showed that:

• Female adolescents and participants who had a parent who attended college were more likely to believe they would finish college.
• Adolescents with nonresident, biological fathers were less likely to expect to finish college.
• Communication about school yielded the most significant positive influence on participants’ grades.

Data from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, they studied the influence of six different categories of father type—resident biological fathers, resident stepfathers, resident adoptive fathers, non-resident biological fathers, unknown biological fathers, and deceased fathers—on adolescents’ school performance from seventh through twelfth grade. The researchers found that:

• Adolescents with resident biological fathers had higher school performance than adolescents with nonresident fathers.
• Adolescents with stepfathers had higher rates of school failure than those who lived with their biological parents.
• Adolescents without a resident father figure and didn’t know the identity of their fathers had the highest risk of school failure.

The National Fatherhood Initiative released in 2015 eight areas where a child’s life improved due to having a father in their lives.

1. Better able to control their emotions – these children were less likely to have emotional or behavioral problems and four times less likely to have a mood disorder.
2. Better physical health – children with involved fathers were less likely to be overweight and 2 times less likely to die as infants.
3. Healthier relationships – a good, involved father’s views affect what his daughter looks for in a boyfriend or husband. His views affect what kind of dad or husband his son will become.
4. Feel safe and confident – children are safer when their dad lives with them. Children that grow up without a father are at a greater risk of child abuse.
5. Less likely to use drugs and alcohol – children who abuse drugs and alcohol do so because they lack the love and connection a father and other family members provide.
6. Perform better in school – when a father is present children are more likely to get A’s, 2 times less likely to repeat a grade and less likely to have behavioral problems in school.
7. Less likely to be poor – when a father is present children are 4 times less likely to live in poverty
8. More likely to stay out of trouble – fathers play an important role in keeping children from taking harmful risks and committing crimes.

Effects of Father Absence on Children

Father absence places children and communities at a greater risk for many of the problems that law enforcement deals with daily.

The data supports the root cause for most problems in society today could be prevented if fathers were present and actively involved in their child(ren)’s life. The research points to the importance of father involvement as a protective factor against these top five areas that effect a child’s well-being.

• Higher Rate of Depression and Suicide – The quality of father involvement is associated with higher levels behavioral problems. Research found that children with stable father figures had better cognitive and socio-emotional outcomes.
• Greater Chance of Substance Abuse – The quality of a father’s involvement has direct correlation to early substance abuse regardless of gender. An absent father, children with abusive fathers or those that abuse drugs are at a much higher risk.
• Higher Rate of Crime – Father absence has been closely linked to criminal activity for young men and was a predictor for higher rates of youth assault. Also, a poor-quality relationship has an impact on delinquency.
• Earlier Sexual Activity – Studies link earlier and riskier sexual behavior to father absence. Adolescents from father-absent homes were 3.5 times more likely to experience pregnancy than were adolescents from father-present homes.
• Poor Educational Outcomes – The duration of a father’s absence has been proven to be a factor in a child’s educational success. The lowest achievement and highest risk of school failure was from adolescents without resident father figures.

Effects of Father Absence on the Mother’s Well-being

If the dad is involved, it means good health outcomes for mom and baby.

Fathers not only effect their child’s well-being with their absence but the mothers of their children as well. Contemporary culture encourages promiscuity by redefining freedom and prioritizing autonomy over responsibility. When sex outside the marriage becomes normal, it is mostly the women who are left on their own to raise the resulting children.

Antenatal depression can creep up in the absence of a husband/partner. It has been shown that mothers who are either married to, or co-parenting with a father have less stress in their parenting. Even if it is just a matter of helping with chores or interacting with your child it provides less stress for the mother.

In a national sample of women ages 10-19 who experienced pregnancy, it was observed that a lack of partner support correlated with harmful birth outcomes. Low birth weight that often results in child loss was less likely in pregnancies where the pregnant mother was receiving partner support. Specifically, teens that are pregnant and have partner support are less likely to have preterm birth. If the dad is involved, it means good health outcomes for mom and baby.

A study conducted in 2018 revealed that when fathers showed low sensitivity, high intrusiveness, and provided little opportunities for child social engagement, the family process was less cohesive. This implies a decrease in the family’s harmonious, warm, and collaborative style.

Correlation Between Absent Fathers and Mass Shootings

By Spring of 2022 there had been 250 mass shootings which had killed more than 256 people and injured 1,010 through the end of May. Many of the young male perpetrators had problems going on at home. Whether the father was physically or mentally absent the shooter were lacking a father. Mass shooters have been known to have a mental illness, delinquent behavior, and violent tendencies. They also frequently do not attend school, hate it, or are failing out. These are all problems shown to be caused by an absent father.

A large factor missing in the life of mass shooters is a positive psychosocial influence. In a study conducted by the Journal of Police and Criminal Psychology it was shown that 85% of the mass school shooters they researched suffered with depression. When they spoke of depression this included diagnosed depression or significant symptoms including suicidality, anhedonia, hopelessness, guilt, and sadness.

This lack of a positive psychosocial influence meant:

• a lack of established academic or other goals in their lives
• little to no encouragement to make goals for their lives and seek to complete them

Researchers concluded that children with a positive psychosocial influence are less likely to engage in mass violence.

In 2016, psychologist Dr. Peter Langman compiled biographical data on 56 American school shooters. He found that 82% had grown up in dysfunctional family situations, usually without two biological parents at home. The trend sadly continues. The shooter in Uvalde, Texas had not lived with his father in years. The Sandy Hook shooter hadn’t seen his father in the two years leading up to that massacre.

The Cost to Society Due to Father Absence

The total expenditures added up to a startling $99.8 billion.

In 2008 a study, the first of its kind, provided insight into the estimate cost to taxpayers due to father absence. It estimated the annual expenditures made by the U.S. federal government to support father-absent homes. The total expenditures added up to a startling $99.8 billion.

The study supports the facts that father absence contributes to financial poverty. Thirty-nine percent of single-mother families live in poverty. But only 8.8% of families with fathers present lived in poverty. The $99.8 billion was spent on programs such as Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF), child support enforcement, food and nutrition programs, housing programs and the State Children’s Health Insurance Plan (SCHIP).

The $99.8 billion cost is a conservative estimate, as it leaves out 3 significant, but hard to measure, sources of costs:

• Federal benefits programs that improve whole communities or individuals regardless of income.
• Indirect costs related to the poor outcomes of children of single-mother families, such as greater use of mental and physical health services, and a higher rate of involvement in the juvenile justice system.
• Long-term costs in reduced tax income due to the lower earnings of children of single-parent families, and long-term costs due to the higher incarceration of children of single-parent families.

In 2010, President Obama signed the Claims Resolution Act which provided $150 million per year in grants to promote healthy marriage ($75 million) and responsible fatherhood ($75 million).

The most obvious consequence of father absence is the effect it has on household income, and the corresponding increase in single-mother households’ use of means-tested benefits programs. The best overall aggregate estimate available is that 20.1 percent of single mothers would leave poverty if marriage rates returned to what they were in 1970.

Different Types of Fathers Bring Different Challenges

Building stronger fathers means meeting them where they are. There are many circumstances that create barriers to being a good father and understanding the different types of fathers helps build programs that meet their needs and help them be the best father based on their requirements.

Teen Fathers

Teen fathers have many risk factors associated with transitioning to fatherhood including lack of education, unemployment, societal treatment, and the fact they are still growing up themselves. Getting teen fathers engaged with the mother and child is the key to long-term success.

Single Fathers

Single fathers make up a small but rapidly growing population. The largest proportion are single fathers due to a divorce. They spend, on average, more time with their children than fathers in other family forms but less time than single mother families. Little is still known about their specific struggles in raising their children.

Divorced Fathers

Divorced fathers often have to overcome hurdles such as the court system to have the level of involvement they want with their children. Differences arise based on custodial arrangements and support from the mother. The higher level of productive involvement by divorced fathers in the lives of their children shows better outcomes.

Nonresident, Noncustodial Fathers

Nonresident fathers, many of whom are noncustodial have to balance responsibilities to be with their children with the level of access they have to their children. The father’s involvement with the children has proven to be a positive influence but many have barriers such as lack of visitation, financial issues and depression.

Incarcerated Fathers

Incarcerated fathers must work especially hard while they are in prison to stay connected with their children and studies show that the majority of them report having some contact with their children since imprisonment. However, studies have shown that children are at a higher risk of antisocial, delinquent, and aggressive behavior.

Military Fathers

Military fathers are motivated to be involved in their children’s lives but struggle during deployment to stay connected and reunify with their families. Struggles include missing developmental milestones, nurturing, staying involved. PTSD can have a negative effect on parenting.

Stepfathers

While there is variability in stepfather involvement and relationships with their stepchildren, the majority of stepchildren feel close to their stepfather as they enter adulthood. Stepfather involvement has been shown to improve the nonresident biological father-child relationship and the children’s adjustment.

Predictors of Father Absence and Engagement

Fathers involved with their children as infants tend to remain involved as their children age.

Researchers that have analyzed predictors of father involvement found that living situations, marital status, substance abuse and self-esteem were significant predictors of father involvement. Age, race, employment status, income, depressive symptoms, social support, and stressful situations were not. Their findings indicate the need for more comprehensive fatherhood programs.

The influence of race and ethnicity on nonresidential father’s involvement in terms of time, engagement, shared responsibility, and coparenting with mothers was researched. The results found that black fathers shared responsibilities more frequently and displayed more effective coparenting than both Hispanic and white fathers.

Impact of Marriage

Researchers found that fathers who either were married to the mother or cohabitated demonstrated the highest levels of father involvement. The findings also revealed:

• children born to cohabitating parents were five times more likely to experience the separation of their parents compared to children of married couples
• fathers who transitioned to marriage increased their level of involvement over time at a faster rate than the continuously married fathers
• 82% of married fathers played with their very young coresidential children (under the age of 5) every day compared to 68% of cohabitating and unmarried fathers
• single parent and cohabitating households are more susceptible to family instability, which subsequently hinders early child cognitive development, than married households.

What the Bible Says About Fathers

Fatherhood was one of the first jobs God gave men. Immediately after creating Adam and Eve, God commanded them to “be fruitful and multiply.” (Genesis 1:28) One of His primary purposes for marriage was offspring who would fill the earth with God’s praise and glory. However, providing sperm for conception is merely the beginning of God’s expectations for fathers. The Bible provides many points of guidance on what God’s expectation is to be a good father.

Here are just a few verses that describe a father’s role:

• Psalm 103:13 – As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
• Ephesians 6:4 – Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
• Proverbs 20:7 – The righteous who walks in his integrity— blessed are his children after him!
• Colossians 3:21 – Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
• Proverbs 4:1-9 – Hear, O sons, a father’s instruction, and be attentive, that you may gain insight, for I give you good precepts; do not forsake my teaching. When I was a son with my father, tender, the only one in the sight of my mother, he taught me and said to me, “Let your heart hold fast my words; keep my commandments and live. Get wisdom; get insight; do not forget, and do not turn away from the words of my mouth. …
• Proverbs 13:24 – Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.
• Proverbs 22:6 – Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
• 3 John 1:4 – I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.
• Psalm 127:3-5 – Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

An article published by Got Questions Ministries identified ten characteristics of a godly father. Some men who want to be good fathers have little understanding of what a godly father looks like. Here are the 10 characteristics identified:

A godly father knows God – It should be without stating, but many men want their children to have a relationship with God but do not have that relationship themselves. Children model what they see. So godly fatherhood begins within the heart of a man.

A godly father loves and honors his wife – it has been said that the best gift a father can give his children is to love their mother. Even if a man is divorced or single, he can still model respectful behavior towards his child’s mother. Children imitate what they see.

A godly father accepts responsibility for his children’s spiritual training – While providing financially for a family is an important responsibility for fathers (1 Timothy 5:8) it is not their only responsibility. A father must encourage Christian character in his children by his example as well as his words of instruction and the expectations of behavior he sets forth for and enforces with his children.

A godly father is continually aware of his influence – fathers may not realize it but everything they do is influencing their children. Words alone are not enough.

A godly father models selfless service – much of Jesus’ earthly life was given to serving others. As followers of Jesus, we are to imitate that service (Matthew 20:28). Godly fathers figure out ways to involve their children in acts of service.

A godly father is consistent – nothing confuses children more than inconsistency, either in discipline or example. A father that is loving one minute and angry the next creates insecurity in his children.

A godly father disciplines his children appropriately – discipline is a part of child-rearing and should not be ignored or solely delegated to the mother. Hebrews 12:9-10 reminds us that earthly fathers disciplined us for our own good and our heavenly Father does the same.

A godly father does not allow himself to be controlled by outside influences. Addictions such as alcohol or drugs often create a home environment marked by insecurity, fear, and depression. Fathers that display addictive behaviors often teach their children to do the same.

A godly father is a man under authority – Due to his sinful nature, a man will fight to be his own boss. However, Jesus demonstrated that He was a Man under the authority of his heavenly Father. He readily gave credit to God for His successes and submitted Himself fully to the will of God.

A godly father will lead – the world is in desperate need of men who will lead wisely. Leadership is not domination or control. A leader is one who goes first. He sets the pace for the family by practicing what he preaches. He is on the lookout for dangers and takes initiative to protect his family from them. He is a man that his children can be proud of (Proverbs 17:6)

Building Fathers Into Real POPS

Being a strong father is making a commitment to being the best POPS, Protector, Order keeper, Provider and Stabilizer to your children, families and communities.

Protector – Keeping Kids Safe

Mature, responsible fathers play an indispensable part in making homes, neighborhoods, and schools safe for children.

Order keeper – Prevention and Pride

Fathers are vital to the well-being of families and preventing family and community violence.

Provider – You are your child’s biggest resource

Effective fathering includes providing for your children’s financial, emotional, spiritual, and educational needs.

Stabilizer – Encourage, Empower and Engage

The biggest key to a stable family and community is active, loving, committed, engaged, and involved fathers.

Breaking the Cycle of Father Absence

It is time to address this epidemic of fatherless homes. The facts prove this is a major problem that only continues to grow. It hurts families, communities and most importantly children. It has become a large cost on society both emotionally and financially. It is time to take a stand.

Fathering Strong was built with the purpose of reaching fathers where they are. Our platform provides fathers a network for peer support, mutual encouragement, and educational resources to maximize their efforts to enhance their relationship with their children, small steps at a time. The Fathering Strong community seeks to build godly fathers all over the world as they connect and share their experiences and struggles while getting the support they need to grow within their own faith journey. We believe fathers are better together.

The need is clear. The time is now.

Fathering Strong is the Answer

Next Steps

Get involved with building the online community where fathers can join together to build stronger fathers and stronger communities.

Fathering Strong is an online community where you can build relationships with others and be a part of building stronger fathers. It is a place for resources, connections and outreach.

1. Join the community – Go to FatheringStrong.com to sign up. It’s free to join.
2. Participate in discussion – Once you sign up, complete your profile and begin engaging with others in the community. Find topics and groups that best meet your needs.
3. Build groups of like minded men – Join groups of individuals just like yourself who are experiencing the same issues and challenges and discover ways to enrich your fathering.
4. Actively participate – Don’t sit back and watch. Get involved. The value of the community is in the participation. Build online and local groups where you can share your stories and learn from others.

To download a pdf version of this post click here.

Fathering Strong – Building the Movement

Fathering Strong is an online community where dads can share their stories, and learn from others, as they become better fathers through building mutually beneficial relationships with other fathers and with Jesus Christ while applying biblical principles.

The Need

According to the 2020 U.S. Census, 18.4 million children are living without a biological father. Out of the 73 million children in the U.S., 23% are without a father in the home. Since 1968, this number has doubled and continues to increase.

The report entitled, “Fathering Strong – The Real Epidemic Today,” reviews the latest statistics on the effects of absent fathers. The research is overwhelming and makes the point with clear and unequivocal evidence that children need good dads.

Urban Light Ministries, a Christian-based nonprofit, has over 30 years of experience working with thousands of fathers and facilitating a wide variety of fathering programs. Young men entering these programs seek the nurturing and counseling they never received from their father. The majority of these men do not have a relationship with Christ nor understand the positive impact this relationship can have on their lives and the lives of their children.

Fatherlessness is clearly the root cause of most of the troubles in today’s society. This “Fatherlessness Pandemic” is why Fathering Strong was created. Fathering Strong is an online platform that brings together a diverse community of men to encourage, inspire, learn from, and mentor one another so that they can become their best as fathers while building stronger families and communities in which they live.

Reaching Fathers Where They Are

In today’s digital world the best way to stay connected with young fathers is through their smartphones. Eighty-five percent of all U.S. adults own a smartphone. Each day they spend an average of over three hours on their phones and check them over 58 times. Smartphone automatic notifications are the most effective means of reaching the target audience for Fathering Strong and provide continual reminders of the importance of being a good father.

The purpose of Fathering Strong is to be a resource of information and provide the necessary tools to become a better father. Fathering Strong helps create a community where men can encourage, inspire and learn from each other. The most effective way is to do this was to reach men where they are multiple times per day – on their smartphones.

Fathering Strong is a web-based community with a smartphone app where men can engage both online and in person within their own communities. The program provides many ways to connect whether it be by interests, stages-of-life, or geography. Each point of connection drives accountability and is easily administered and controlled within the program.

What is Fathering Strong?

Fathering Strong is an online platform and community that connects fathers allowing them to build relationships with others and be a part of building stronger fathers. It is also for those seeking the need for a father figure. It is putting together all of the functionality and engagement of a Facebook Group, Social Media platform, live event program, online course platform and content platform in one place that is controlled and moderated by individuals experienced in fatherhood programs. It provides notifications on upcoming events, updates or new conversations direction to the users smartphone. It is also web-based and can be accessed on any devise connected to the internet such as a desktop, laptop or tablet.

This resources is free of charge to all participants through donations and private funding. Some parts of the community are private based on certain interests or groups and are invitation only. Other areas of the site are available to all users. The access and privileges are based on how the group moderators and discussion leaders wish to set them. This maintains privacy and accountability within the areas of the site where it may be required.

The primary targets for Fathering Strong include:

• Young Fathers
• Reentering Fathers
• Single Fathers
• First-time Fathers
• Non-resident Fathers
• Stay-at-home Fathers
• Expectant Fathers
• Unfathered Men
• Experienced Fathers Seeking to become Mentors

With so many children growing up fatherless, the need for good fathers is greater today than ever before. The good news is that many men are seeking support and affirmation in their quest to becoming great dads. Fathering Strong was created to connect fathers to each other and strengthen their relationship with the Heavenly Father. In doing so, we envision the number of present, mature, and responsible fathers increasing, and therefore, so will the number of nurtured children and stable families.

The site is currently divided into three main areas that are easy to navigate on any device.

1. The main, “all member access area“, includes the latest information on the topics addressing fatherhood and fathering skills. The information can be found in the Discover section, main feed or featured posts. An event section is also included in the main Fathering Strong section highlighting any events that are open to all members of the community.
2. The second section titled “Learning Communities” includes courses that are either self taught or lead by a designated trained leader or facilitator.
3. The third major section titled, “Connections and Forums” is the place for building specialized groups based on certain topics, interests, locations or other ways of bringing common fathers together.

The Online Community

The Fathering Strong Community is open to all members to discover information important to becoming a better father (Feeds & Discovery), join online and local events, chat with other members and review content by main topic areas using the highlighted hashtags.

The Learning Communities are dedicated to providing education on specific fatherhood topics through self study or guided learning. Each of the courses offered are their own “mini-network” that include all of the features of the overall Fathering Strong community such as events, chat and topic areas.

The Connections and Forum sections are “mini-networks” with full functionality that are either open to the entire Fathering Strong network or private for specific interest groups. The private groups provide a platform for more intimate discussions and conversations that are only available to members of that specific group. Full functionality including a discovery section, events section, chat and highlighted hashtags can be activated for any group. Each private group has a specified set of moderators that maintain the confidentiality of the group and approve entry into the group. Connections or forums are developed based on need and requests.

Ways to Connect with Fathering Strong

There are many ways to get started and begin connecting with other fathers and resources. These include:

• Group Participation – find a group under Connections and Forums that resonates with the issues you are currently facing. Reach out to the moderator and ask to be invited into the group. Note: some of the groups were formed based on specific needs or current private groups and may not be open to anyone.
• Study Groups – review the different offerings in the Learning Community and find one that interests you. Complete the ones that are self-study or ask the group leader access to ones that are private. Note: some groups were formed for specific reasons and may not be open to anyone.
• Events – locate online events or live events in your geographic area. Register and attend the events.
• Review the Many Articles and Posts – there is information that can help you become a better father that is categorized by major topics under the “highlighted hashtag” heading in the main Fathering Strong community. This information is updated on a weekly basis with the latest trends and research on fatherhood.
• Make Your Own Post or Comment – start a conversation with others in the network. The more you engage the more you will get out of the community. You will find inspiration in meeting others dealing with the same issues as you and who can provide you insight and encouragement.
• Mentoring or Connecting with Experts – plans are under development to add a Mentoring section to the community where you can become a mentor to a father looking for assistance or you can sign up for a mentor if you are interested. Coming Soon!

Building the Kingdom Together

The greatest example of fathering is our Heavenly Father. Through the Holy Bible, we are given the greatest guidebook to fatherhood.

Being a man isn’t about proving to others how strong and capable you are. That’s ego. Being a man, and especially being a father, is about knowing how dependent you are on others to do your job well. Particularly how dependent you are on God. You are not meant to do this alone. Fathering Strong is your connection to others and a way to build a closer relationship with Jesus Christ.

As stated in Eli Williams book, Father Love -The Powerful Resource Every Child Need, “A father’s heart this is filled with love for his children is a powerful resource for them. That love can and should be nurtured in fathers.” This can only be done through having a relationship with Christ. Fathering Strong builds on the fatherly responsibilities that God has assumed toward his children:

• God provides for us (Philippians 4:19: And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.)
• God protects (John 17:11: I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name, the name you gave me, so that they may be one as we are one.)
• God encourages us (Psalms 10:17: You, Lord, hear the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry,)
• God comforts us (2 Corinthians 1:3-4: Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.)
• God disciplines us (Hebrews 12:10: They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. )

Connecting with Fathers in Need

Over the past 12 months, Urban Light Ministries has leveraged the Google Ad Grant to reach individuals interested in fatherhood and receiving resources to help them become better fathers. Over 21,000 individuals have come to the site through Google Search. Over 4,000 have downloaded the 30-Day Fatherhood Devotional.

Website views have come from all over the country and from major cities such as New York, Chicago, Atlanta and Los Angeles (see pie chart). People are seeking to learn how to become better fathers. The post on “Bible Verses for Fathers,” has been viewed over 10,000 times. Web analytics prove that men of all ages are seeking help on how to become better fathers, grandfathers, and mentors to their families and communities (see bar chart).

Fathering Strong will continue to leverage the Google Ad Grant with a focus marketing strategy to lead people to the Fathering Strong community. Email marketing through the use of automated sequences and email campaigns will drive enrollments by using targeted landing pages with infographics and information guides to encourage email address submissions and signups.

Current Available Resources

Before the global COVID pandemic, Urban Light Ministries was developing fatherhood resources focused on online delivery. Through the experience of delivering online self-study courses, it became clear that a better way was required to increase participation and engagement. Building an online community where fathers can communicate and engage with others was important to building the bonds and driving the required results. Fathering Strong is built on an online community platform that improves participating and program adherence.

Th following resources are available and currently located on Fathering Strong:

POPS 101 is an introduction to healthy fathering principles. POPS is an acronym that stands for Protector, Order keeper, Provider and Stabilizer. This online study course includes a facilitators guide for group settings and is in both English and Spanish.

The 31-Day Father’s Devotional Journal was developed to provide the opportunity for fathers’ to search their own heart and soul to see if the instructions they are providing their children are in accordance with the will of God. The devotionals addresses the need to teach, encourage, instruct, mentor, praise, influence, guide and inspire.

The Power of Father Love 7-Day Devotional is hosted on YouVersion and was created to encourage, enthuse and empower men to be the best versions of themselves in their roles as fathers. The series offers men practical suggestions for growth as nurturers and spiritual leaders of their children and families.

The Good Dad Award is a non-profit national program that recognizes fathers from all walks of life. The mission of the award is to raise awareness and promote good fatherhood through a positive and meaningful recognition that can inspire and motivate others. The Good Dad Award™ is an annual award honoring the accomplishments and sacrifices of fathers in local communities. This program has been administered through Urban Light Ministries for the past two years and will be promoted on Fathering Strong.

Finding Their Place in Fathering Strong

Once someone joins the Fathering Strong community they are placed into an email sequence that will provide them with a step-by-step guide on how to get the most out of the online community.

The welcome steps will include:

1. Welcome message and information on the community including code of conduct
2. Automated guide built in the community that will provide a sequence of steps to :
   • Complete their profile
   • Download the smartphone app
   • Adjust their notifications
   • Introduce themselves
   • Start a Chat
   • Invite Someone to the Network
3. Take an introduction questionnaire to identify how they can best get involved which includes information on;
   • Describing their past and current relationship with their father
   • Identifying their fatherhood journey including relationships, number of children and current living arrangements
   • A self-assessment of what is their maturity level as a Christian
   • Identification of what they hope to achieve from joining Fathering Strong

This information will be held in confidence and used to place Fathering Strong members into the appropriate communities and forums within Fathering Strong.

Partnering Opportunities

Fathering Strong provides many different ways you and/or

your organization can get involved. As we continue to grow the community we need your help. We seek partners that can provide the skills, resources, and funding to help grow Fathering Strong and reach as many fathers as possible.

Some of the different ways you can partner with Fathering Strong include:

• Become a course or community moderator
• Facilitate a devotional group or study group
• Help establish and/or lead a new community or forum
• Be a podcast guest or guest blogger
• Become a fatherhood resource provider
• Become a mentor and help other fathers in need
• Host online discussions or live meet sessions
• Provide links on your website to Fathering Strong
• Pray for the community and the fathers in the Fathering Strong network
• Be a financial supporter

What Is It Going to Take?

Fathering Strong is an online community where you can build relationships with others fathers and become a part of building stronger families. It is a place for resources, connections and outreach.

1. Join the community – Go to FatheringStrong.com to sign up. It’s free to join.
2. Participate in discussion – Once you sign up, complete your profile and begin engaging with others in the community. Find topics and groups that best meet your needs.
3. Build groups of like minded men – Join groups of individuals just like yourself who are experiencing the same issues and challenges and discover ways to enrich your fathering.
4. Actively participate – Don’t sit back and watch. Get involved. The value of the community is in the participation. Build online and local groups where you can share your stories and learn from others.

To view this post in its original document or to share this information with a friend please click here for the flipbook.

Interested in joining the Fathering Strong Online Community? Click here to explore the site and register. It’s FREE!

Building a Better World for Children – By Building Strong Fathers

Children and youth have been my passion since the beginning of my personal ministry in 1988. The labor of love on their behalf has been amazingly rewarding. I have the blessing of still being in a personal mentor/father-figure role with several of the males after all these years. Most now have children of their own, and they are excellent parents! Sadly, that is not the case with many fathers and mothers. One of the consequences is violent crime in our communities.

According to Detective Jordan of the Springfield Police, “The problem is with so many people and so many issues today, especially young people, out shooting people over disagreements.”[i] To help police departments fight violent crime, Ohio Governor DeWine has committed to distributing a total of $200 million in grant money to law enforcement agencies around the state. “The vast majority of crime in this state is committed by repeat, violent offenders. We have to go after them and we have to prosecute them and we have to lock them up for a long, long time,” DeWine said. This is not only a problem in Ohio but throughout the country and beyond.

Getting to the Root Problem

Here is the thing, though. Throwing money at it will not solve the crisis. Arresting, prosecuting, and jailing criminals may help a little, but does nothing to turn off the pipeline that keeps pumping new offenders onto the streets. It never has, and never will. We must go upstream to the source of the supply of violent offenders and stop the flow there. The source of supply? The home. The place where values form, and where the character is developed. With less-than-ideal home lives, many of our community’s youth – both boys and girls alike are in trouble, and they are making trouble for communities. They need fathers and mothers working together to raise them up right – the way the Creator intended. This is the mission of today’s Urban Light Ministries.

As I shared in my 2016 book Father Love – The Powerful Resource Every Child Needs, I am grateful for my dad. He committed his life to faithfully loving his wife and children, even though his father had abandoned his family. Under very difficult circumstances, my father provided for 13 children, all the while serving his church as a deacon. Because of dad’s example of healthy manhood, and the strong Christian fathering of his children despite not having had a good father, I believe in the potential of every man.  He has been the inspiration for my work with dads since 2006, and for ULM’s new ministry Fathering Strong.

What is Fathering Strong?

It is a new community where dads can share their stories, learn about effective parenting practices, and become stronger fathers by applying biblical principles. Our local group of fathers meets in person. These dads are receiving and giving encouragement, building bonds, discovering important resources, and preparing to lead their own groups. We are nearing the final stages of the development of the online Fathering Strong community that will be available to dads everywhere on the globe. We are endeavoring to build a better world for children by building strong fathers.

Our vision is that these men will grow as parents assured of the Word’s promise:

“Point your kids in the right direction — when they’re old they won’t be lost.” – .

Prov. 22:6 MSG

In partnership with their children’s mothers, they will model Christian manhood and help their kids develop godly character. Within this vision, pre-believing men will find Christ. Men who are new to the faith will find mentors and disciplers. This is an effective way to reduce the number of delinquent youth, youth violent crime, child poverty, and so many other challenges: Help men become better fathers. Reach them where they are… On their smartphones. Before we have officially rolled it out, there are already 50-plus men on the waiting list for dad groups on the Fathering Strong website and app! We need your help.

Will you help?

As with everything worth doing, an investment is required to bring this vision to reality. Our team and partners have devoted a substantial amount of volunteer time, talent and treasure. We are asking you to consider supporting this work through a yearend gift, or an ongoing commitment in 2023. Your contribution will help us reach our goal of getting up and running with the full complement of resources for dads by early next year.  

• Your November or December gift of any amount will help us reach our yearend general fund goal of $12,000
• $25 per month will help us provide in person, online and mobile services for fathers throughout 2023  

Thank you so very much for your partnership in this work. Learn more about Father Strong by visiting www.fatheringstrong.com.

Sincerely,

Eli Williams, Ministry President

[i] https://www.wdtn.com/news/springfield-pd-receiving-grant-money-to-help-cut-down-on-violent-crime/

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What the Bible Says About Fathers

Fatherhood was one of the first responsibilities God gave men.

Fatherhood was one of the first jobs God gave men. Immediately after creating Adam and Eve, God commanded them to “be fruitful and multiply.” (Genesis 1:28) One of His primary purposes for marriage was offspring who would fill the earth with God’s praise and glory. However, providing sperm for conception is merely the beginning of God’s expectations for fathers. The Bible provides many points of guidance on what God’s expectation is to be a good father.

Here are just a few verses that describe a father’s role:

• Psalm 103:13 – As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
• Ephesians 6:4 – Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
• Proverbs 20:7 – The righteous who walks in his integrity— blessed are his children after him!
• Colossians 3:21 – Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
• Proverbs 4:1-9 – Hear, O sons, a father’s instruction, and be attentive, that you may gain insight, for I give you good precepts; do not forsake my teaching. When I was a son with my father, tender, the only one in the sight of my mother, he taught me and said to me, “Let your heart hold fast my words; keep my commandments, and live. Get wisdom; get insight; do not forget, and do not turn away from the words of my mouth. …
• Proverbs 13:24 – Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.
• Proverbs 22:6 – Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
• 3 John 1:4 – I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.
• Psalm 127:3-5 – Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

Ten Characteristics of a Godly Father

1. A godly father knows God – It should be without stating, but many men want their children to have a relationship with God but do not have that relationship themselves. Children model what they see. So godly fatherhood begins within the heart of a man.
2. A godly father loves and honors his wife – it has been said that the best gift a father can give his children is to love their mother. Even if a man is divorced or single, he can still model respectful behavior towards his child’s mother. Children imitate what they see.
3. A godly father accepts responsibility for his children’s spiritual training – While providing financially for a family is an important responsibility for fathers (1 Timothy 5:8) it is not their only responsibility. A father must encourage Christian character in his children by his example as well as his words of instruction and the expectations of behavior he sets forth for and enforces with his children.
4. A godly father is continually aware of his influence – fathers may not realize it but everything they do is influencing their children. Words alone are not enough.
5. A godly father models selfless service – much of Jesus’ earthly life was given to serving others. As followers of Jesus, we are to imitate that service (Matthew 20:28). Godly fathers figure out ways to involve their children in acts of service.
6. A godly father is consistent – nothing confuses children more than inconsistency, either in discipline or example. A father that is loving one minute and angry the next creates insecurity in his children.
7. A godly father disciplines his children appropriately – discipline is a part of child-rearing and should not be ignored or solely delegated to the mother. Hebrews 12:9-10 reminds us that earthly fathers disciplined us for our own good and our heavenly Father does the same.
8. A godly father does not allow himself to be controlled by outside influences. Addictions such as alcohol or drugs often create a home environment marked by insecurity, fear, and depression. Fathers that display addictive behaviors often teach their children to do the same.
9. A godly father is a man under authority – Due to his sinful nature, a man will fight to be his own boss. However, Jesus demonstrated that He was a Man under the authority of his heavenly Father. He readily gave credit to God for His successes and submitted Himself fully to the will of God.
10. A godly father will lead – the world is in desperate need of men who will lead wisely. Leadership is not domination or control. A leader is one who goes first. He sets the pace for the family by practicing what he preaches. He is on the lookout for dangers and takes initiative to protect his family from them. He is a man that his children can be proud of (Proverbs 17:6)

For a complete copy of the white paper, “Fathering Strong – The Real Epidemic Today” click here.

To learn more about the new Fathering Strong online community click here.

To join Fathering Strong go to www.fatheringstrong.com

Interested in a 7-day devotional focused on becoming a better father? Go to the new YouVersion bible study authored by Eli Williams. Click here to go to the devotional.